The White Trash Princess Blog

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74490772012-01-28T08:28:08.346-06:00The White Trash Princess Blog"You Can't Outdrink the Truth" <br><img src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_GFRMC_dTSBk/R7dmOrE4fyI/AAAAAAAAARw/_UIqVrAwwwg/s1600/highness.gif">Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.comBlogger7151100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-15102819390333010832012-01-28T08:12:00.001-06:002012-01-28T08:28:08.356-06:00I Got New Glasses

QueenB got me a set of glassware (ok, barware) for my birthday. It is beyoooootiful classy retro with gold pinstriping around the pitcher and glasses. It also has a long stirring spoon. I cannot find anything like it on Google images or eBay to compare and confirm what exactly it is we've got here. Basically the pitcher is shaped like a large brandy snifter with a lip for pouring. The

Was looking at shoes for the re-wedding on Craigslist this a.m. just in case I want to deviate from the original plan of wearing the acrylic hooker heels. Found a gorgeous pair with beading and cute little strappy across the back. BUT they are a half size too big. MyPoolBoys said we should go ahead and get them if we are going over to TheBigCity anyway. I tried to explain to him in the

So. MyPoolBoy and I are approaching the 25-year mark. Felix and I had planned this whole thing out a few years ago and I am happy to report that roughly 30% of it may actually make it to fruition. Unfortunately, Felix will not be unable to go to Vegas and attend the wedding, and there are no Rick Springfield concerts for me to get the proposal or groom that we had planned, but ELVIS WILL BE

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-13539046693230321182012-01-12T17:34:00.001-06:002012-01-12T17:37:07.674-06:00Please Stab Me in the Eardrum

Who besides me cannot stand to hear the moronic and badly syncopated lyrics of the Truvia commercials as sung by that annoyingly nasally bi+ch? Dear Truvia and/or Truvia's marketing agency representatives: Quit bogarting the crackpipe. That is the only explanation for how such inanity made it to the airwaves. That and the chick who sings your jingles must be doing somebody really important.

My gps on this phone is off a little. It says i am in a totally different town than where i actually am. If i am not in the right location it could at least give me a heads-up that i might need to be prepared to be wandering around wiping myself with leaves.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-13260904273601082032011-12-19T03:58:00.001-06:002011-12-19T11:19:57.113-06:00Stick Together

The Prof posted a poem on his Facebook wall about these people who were trapped in some frigid frozen tundra and each one possessed a single stick of wood, and then verse by verse the poet outlines the message how none of them would share it to build a fire because of bigotry, selfishness, blah blah blah, and then they all just did nothing and hypothermia-ed themselves to death like morons. I

So my prolonged illness and general feeling of malaise has continued on into the month of December. This week it has manifested itself in my sinuses as some sort of stuffy annoying throat-irritating incarnation. I am still very run-down feeling and can't seem to shake one thing without catching the next great thing. I even missed the faculty Christmas party. Yes. I was THAT sick. Here is

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-48530839644176504012011-12-03T08:34:00.005-06:002011-12-03T08:43:15.562-06:00Grandma Lila's Fruitcake

Merry Christmas! This fruitcake recipe is the one our Grandma Lila used for years. It is famous/infamous enough to be mentioned in the eulogy at her funeral service. I have "embellished" it with my own observations and experiences. 1 lb. dates (I sometimes use less) 1 lb raisins (Again, sometimes I cut back on these) 1/2 lb candied citron (I usually use more) 1/2 to 1 cup brandy, rum, or

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-51724851896245337722011-11-22T19:00:00.001-06:002011-11-22T19:00:20.494-06:00Reduce, Reuse, Ridiculous

Aside from the fact that if I were unleashed on the world with a red Bic ballpoint pen I would inevitably correct grammar and spelling mistakes on everything in sight, I cannot be loose on society with my mouth unfiltered, either. Someone has been trying to set up a recycling effort at school. And unfortunately, someone doesn’t have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old boy like Felix and I. We

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-28588384664643874272011-11-17T17:33:00.000-06:002011-11-17T17:33:32.586-06:00Getting Purse-onal

Odd, bizarre one-sided conversation I was just forced to have with DonnyCat: WTF? Get out of my purse! I look across the room and see approximately 5 pounds of your 14.6 pound baby kitten body shoved into my purse. Seriously what on earth possesses you to think that you have the right to step your front paws and that gigantic fat head with its trapezoid ear into my belongings and rifle

Been home with strep for 4 days with fever and aches which turned into a sore throat and then an earache and then when the fever finally broke I ended up with a gigantic fever blister on my lower lip. So my smiley face emoticon should look something like this right now: :-)* At least if it was on my upper lip I could color it with an eyebrow pencil and pretend that it was a mole like

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-65420800426732767032011-11-08T20:41:00.001-06:002011-11-08T20:41:19.757-06:00You Know What Mother Always Says…

I have become quite a barterer. Keep in mind my 2 will-work-for-vodka transactions. I have now negotiated for story rights – because, Felix owes me. Felix owes me BIG TIME. And my payment for being a dedicated, loyal, and giving friend is USUALLY vodka. However, in this instance, my payment is permission to blog about her severe misfortune for my own sick, twisted entertainment. So. Felix

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-42343799245254100572011-10-31T18:00:00.000-05:002011-10-31T18:00:42.192-05:00It's HOW You Say It

This one image alone is going to waste endless precious hours of my life as I try to decipher what song you could lip sync "Watermelon, Watermelon, Motherf*&er, Watermelon" to and still have it seem like you are singing the song. Also: I am in complete awe of the person that was able to accomplish such a feat with a straight face during their performance.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-73660224884307015382011-09-09T19:04:00.002-05:002011-09-10T08:28:02.089-05:00Toiletus Interruptus

This afternoon some of us went to happy hour at a place downtown because we had 20% off coupons for teachers so that meant really cheap beer. And for us, cheap trumps quality any day. Anyway, Felix went to the restroom right before we left. This was located near the front doors so as MyPoolBoy and I were leaving, I poked my head in the restroom door and hollered "oh my gawd Felix you're in the

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-13488549740444414722011-08-31T20:49:00.001-05:002011-09-04T22:15:45.914-05:00Room to Complain

Finally got to our destination and ate lunch with Thunderduck. When it was time to drop him back off, the discussion turned to where we were staying. MyPoolBoy had printed off a map to our hotel with turn by turn directions and the address BUT NOT THE NAME OF THE HOTEL (this is important for later). We followed the directions on the nameless map and could not for the life of us decipher which

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-88917168205436213742011-08-31T11:57:00.001-05:002011-08-31T12:15:38.797-05:00Show Me the Moneymaker

On the Missouri stretch of Mostboringroadtripeverplease shootmenow. Every other sign is for churches or adult establishments. Told MyPoolBoy that if you don't sin you won't have anything to repent at church. Then it dawned on me that maybe these signs that say xxx girls could just mean a fat women's store. Which, by deduction, means ther's a Cracker Barrel restaurant around here.... AND one of

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-49642847394374075792011-08-31T10:13:00.001-05:002011-09-04T10:45:58.035-05:00Oklahoma is OK?

Who made THAT sh1t up? It's been a painfully slow stretch of highway that actually began before we got out of Texas because the dayum gps lady sent us THROUGH the DFW International Airport so that I had absolutely no quirky kitchy scenery to even play the sick twisted game of try-to-snap-a-photo-of-sh1t-as-it-blazes-past-you because we are on themostboringroadtripeverpleaseshootmenow with

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-80908677913746222672011-08-30T22:21:00.002-05:002011-09-01T23:03:54.438-05:00Holding My Own

We're leaving Texas to get to Thunderduck's graduation from MP training. Let me just tell you this: when you get into a vehicle that MyPoolBoy is driving, be prepared to remain in that vehicle until it runs out of gas or the world ends, whichever comes first, because his road trip philosophy is pretty much "we'renotpullingoverforanythingyoucanjustholdit." So. While trapped in the truck and

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-63708581231734270912011-08-28T08:52:00.003-05:002011-08-28T10:41:21.441-05:00Driving Instruction

Dear fellow motorists and friends: You might as well stop honking and waving at me. Just because you see my highly recognizable, pink glittery white-trash convertible beemer and you KNOW that it is me does not mean that I know who YOU are in your nondescript shade of whitegrayblacknavytan SUV or sedan. I swear I think all my friends must have bought used cars from a rapper's bodyguard or a

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-56152310866381430882011-08-27T22:12:00.000-05:002011-08-27T22:12:10.854-05:00Education-ale

Oh, if only all tests were as easy as field sobriety tests!

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-72512285934093101792011-08-25T21:30:00.001-05:002011-08-28T09:05:22.107-05:00CAT-astrophes

Somehow in one of those bizarre lunchtime conversations that only seem to occur when I am present (I am not sure why that happens)... the subject turned to the misfortune and ill-fate of pets. I added to the already distrubing discussion by announcing that through congenital / genetic situations, two of our cats, Earl and Bob have little or no tail; DonnyCat my sweet 14.6 pound baby kitten has a

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-62533848288601168912011-08-14T21:16:00.001-05:002011-08-14T21:18:29.645-05:00Pubic Service

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/ Has had me in stitches. I got to page 31 of like 700andsomething pages before I got the unmistakeable desire to blog. Some of them are meh, and a lot of them you have to read the whole conversation to get a laugh, but I have increased my own personal vocabulary immensely with some of the words that these phones have come up with. cli+diddle thundercun+ saggyv@g

You know those disclaimers they put up at the beginning of a movie or tv program to warn you that there is content which might be potentially upsetting to viewers due to violence or language or nudity or "adult situations" and that viewer discretion is advised? (Whattheh3ll do they mean by an "adult situation" anyway? Paying the mortgage? Voting in a bond election?) Well, I was thinking

So. Someone posted a long spiel / quote on Facebook about how people need to accept her as she is - don't try to make her something she's not. And all these people are lending her emotional support by reaffirming what she posted and telling her they love her, etc. I don't work like that. I don't mince words. She's still young - she'll learn. I told her that I could teach her to sum up

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-42041802087681754262011-08-07T21:38:00.003-05:002011-08-07T21:53:43.285-05:00A Sure Sign That the Romance Has Dwindled

There comes a point when you realize that you've been married long enough. The sizzle turns to fizzle. The spark goes dark. The hot is not. I just never thought I would have to realize that point in the checkout line of Walmart. I impulse-bought a new tank top on sale and it is all padded-bra-push-upish like a bustier and makes me really look like I have cleavage. So I'm bee-bopping along

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-82497615938934784432011-08-06T22:15:00.000-05:002011-08-06T22:15:35.318-05:00Because Eye Love You

MyPoolBoy was complaining this morning that he couldn't get his contact lenses in. He said it was because he thought he needed to trim his eyelashes. I offered to use my eyelash curler on them to get them out of the way instead of his horrible plan of self-mutilation, but he adamantly refused. He has some sort of over-testosteronated aversion to anything that may reside in the same vicinity as

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-68233886265750052682011-08-05T17:15:00.004-05:002011-08-05T19:56:20.586-05:00Frankly, My Dear...

APPARENTLY there are hot dog rules. Weiner etiquette. Coney guidelines. No lie. Brought to us lowly ignorant Americans by the National Hot Dog Association or some bullsh1t like that. I caught the tail end of this enlightening tidbit on some show that MyPoolBoy was watching. (You know it is getting close to time for school to start back up because he has run out of things to do and has

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-81142607691498802612011-07-13T09:40:00.003-05:002011-07-13T10:19:45.681-05:00I’m Pretty Sure My Sister Has Been Abducted by Aliens

So my sister Pepita got married this past weekend. I THINK. There is very little proof. There’s like a whole “is Elvis really dead?” cloud of mystery and hush-hush and conspiracy theory over the whole thing. It’s like it never really happened, that’s what I think. No one I know that she knows (except QueenB) seems to have been there. In fact one of her Facebook friends posted that she

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-87248911366496809362011-07-09T14:19:00.002-05:002011-07-09T14:25:27.642-05:00Ever Get a Song Stuck in Your Head?

Ok. So you all know that MyPoolBoy and Felix claim that I am the dumbest smart person they know. Sometimes I unwittingly oblige their theory by doing something really dumb. Today’s something really dumb involved cheap-a$$-5-for-a-dollar-knock-off-Superglue and pineapple Smirnoff Ice. I know. That’s a blog waiting to happen. I was nonchalantly minding my own business cleaning the pool, doing

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-17849610678795744712011-07-02T09:40:00.000-05:002011-07-02T09:40:45.415-05:00White Trash Emergency Beer Cooler

This is what happens when you need to keep your drinks cold and you are on the 3rd floor of the beach house and you don't want to go all the way downstairs to where the coolers are on the 1st floor because you are too dayum lazy (read: drunk) and besides, there is a SNAKE down there holding the beer hostage. Genius, albeit inebriated genius, you must admit it is genius nonetheless!

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-6963091947007354912011-07-01T10:06:00.001-05:002011-07-01T10:06:34.622-05:00Just so you know…..

If you have an ipod in your pocket and you run the headphone wire across the front of you with the earphone in the opposite-side ear from the pocket containing the ipod, and then you go to the restroom and leave the wire dangling in the front of you, you WILL zip the wire up in your fly when you get ready to leave the restroom causing total strangers to kindly tell you that you have your ipod

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-25709546029555049272011-06-30T08:46:00.004-05:002011-06-30T16:33:28.209-05:00Heat of the Moment

Due to the fabulous margarita-melting temperatures we have had around here lately (103, 104, 105) I have had occasion to hear some interesting hyperbolic similes, metaphors, and other creative figures of speech to describe the severity of the heat - Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk. I have not personally tested this culinary method, though my family has been known to make “dashboard

To all my fellow TAKS-grade teachers at our campus - I am so sorry none of us got a "fun" award at the ceremony on Friday. As the glorious certificates were passed out one by one, it became sadly apparent that we had forgotten to have "fun" these last few weeks. We all shook our heads and clucked our tongues and repeated our never-failing mantra, "We don't have time because we teach TAKS."

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-51046943179159959322011-05-21T09:15:00.003-05:002011-05-21T09:23:26.686-05:00MEMO To: DonnyCat Re: Rubbing Me the Wrong Way

DonnyCat, After numerous failed attempts to make you understand that there are moments when your 14.6 pounds of affection is misguided and unwelcome, I am submitting these new "Cat Rules" in effect immediately. 1) If I am doing yoga, DO NOT RUB AGAINST ME! 2) If I am putting lotion on my legs, DO NOT RUB AGAINST ME! 3) If I am trying to sleepily meander my way down a dark hallway at 5 a.m.

Ok. So there is yet another whackaloon predicting the end of the world I am SOOOOOOO not prepared for this. If it is truly the Rapture, then I'll be gone and I'll be worrying for nothing, but if it is merely an apocalypse I am NOT ready. Here is my tentative to-do list for tomorrow after I go pick up Lurch. 1. Figure out what to wear. I have not one solitary thing in my closet that

The most Jeff Spicoli conversation I ever had with one of my children: Chunk: We need a snack. Me: I know. You know what would be good? Bagels and cream cheese. Chunk: That would be good. Me: Hey my car is fixed we could take my car. Chunk: Yeah. Me: But I don’t think I have any money in my purse. Chunk: I just have a dollar. Me: Oh. Well let’s just watch Kitchen Nightmares. I

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-65987898821678634022011-05-05T20:50:00.002-05:002011-05-05T21:00:31.312-05:00I Would Like to Thank...

First, thanks to the student who gave me the bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies for Teacher Appreciation Week this morning. They are gone. Along with this week's efforts to lose weight. Next, thanks to MyPoolBoy for the beautiful bottle of cheap Merlot that accompanied the box of dishwashing detergent back from your trip to the store. Unlike the cookies, it is not gone yet, but I'm

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-82002734875215146932011-04-27T21:01:00.000-05:002011-05-01T09:01:47.002-05:00Spin It to Win It

Well, we were discussing gynecologists at our poker table – because we love to gross out the men and make them all uncomfortable and distracted so that they can’t concentrate and we can beat them. Especially if we are too drunk and/or ADD to know what is in our hand. One of the girls was talking about how an ob/gyn she went to was rude and she finally had to switch doctors. I told her that I

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-45230070540737512832011-04-23T18:36:00.000-05:002011-04-27T18:36:44.494-05:00Chunk – You Are a Moron

1:45 a.m. REALLY??????????????????????????? You know, there is one rule, and the rule is very simple: Be home by the designated previously-agreed-upon-ETA, or you may alternatively elect to contact one of your two original biological parental figures via email, text, or an actual live voice phone conversation. You did none of these. NONE. And then you go and stay out too late and make me

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-49733940826039126112011-04-15T18:18:00.001-05:002011-04-15T18:31:45.317-05:00Under Construction

So -- my adorable little pink beemer convertible had its fuel pump go out this week. $200 and 45 minutes of labor later, it is thankfully up and running again. To "make do" until the part we needed came in, I was able to trick the engine into thinking it had a regular normal working fuel pump by lifting up the back seat and banging on the top of the fuel pump with the butt-end of a flat-head

Thunderdrunk, I mean, Thunderduck stumbled in sometime late last night/early this morning after a day out on the lake with his buddies. When he came in he greeted the PetBull and then retreated with her to his room. Whereupon he began to sing Army songs. And tried unsuccessfully to get the poor dog to join in. So of course he's hung over, and he came in and asked me if I had any Tylenol

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-16376091497296426622011-04-01T17:55:00.001-05:002011-04-01T18:37:41.210-05:00Important Video Message

You should go HERE for an important video message about my blog.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-78925572437209944442011-03-26T10:55:00.006-05:002011-03-26T14:09:25.303-05:00Oh H3ll, Alma Mater

A BannedCamper posted a lament that she was tired of her university calling and asking for donations from her for the alumni fund. Really. I mean we’ve already paid THOUSANDS of dollars to them in tuition, and now they want MORE? First of all, they need to look and see what your major was before they call. Liberal arts or education majors have VERY LITTLE MONEY. Worse still, liberal arts AND

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-64206909342069160012011-03-23T17:05:00.006-05:002011-03-26T14:11:16.145-05:00This Post is in Need of Emily Post

What is the etiquette or hygiene guideline for taking a drink into the bathroom with you? You can't leave it on a table or someone will slip a date-rape drug into it and then you have to do the whole "but you drugged me and brought me home and now you're saying that I'm annoying and you've changed your mind" routine, and that never turns out well. Or, worse still, you can leave it on the bar

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-87924379140209099022011-03-18T15:08:00.000-05:002011-03-18T15:08:48.235-05:00Facelift Complete

I am now the owner of a PINK CONVERTIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-48704254446128092652011-03-17T13:38:00.004-05:002011-03-17T13:57:22.075-05:00Oh Boy Oh Boy

I have watched this about 14 times today and I CANNOT stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!! Animal is the best part.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-15530676100131918462011-03-02T19:47:00.002-06:002011-03-26T14:12:02.875-05:00What Are The Odds That This Is My SECOND Post About Raccoon Sex?

So. We were making fun of MyPoolBoy’s annoying poker friend from a while back cuz I saw him on a news clip about the county next to Mullet County. And they interview HIM as a representative citizen of the community. Which caused us to start discussing the “Deliverance-y” way of life that is rumored to exist in that neck o’ the woods. Thunderduck and his crew began to elaborate upon the range

MonsterInLaw sent me some birthday money in the form of a check. I hadn't gotten around to spending it until just this week, but I was thinking that I SHOULD have messed with her in the process of enjoying my little spending spree. (BTW, I got some new clothes and an old-timey laundry/washer/plunger thing for the laundry room - so, thank you again MIL!). Because she lives in

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-16750597787446376902011-02-18T21:47:00.000-06:002011-02-18T21:47:14.007-06:00Yea Team Go School

For all the Lucilles on college t-shirt day Or for QueenB (just because it is her favorite saying)

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-79105834079375844672011-02-17T21:40:00.000-06:002011-02-17T21:40:19.055-06:00Can't. Breathe

I am laughing so hard. Mascara running down my face.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-41555168228917150712011-02-15T18:11:00.003-06:002011-03-26T14:24:30.499-05:00School Is a Social Disease

So. Last week I got really wiped out on Thursday and ended up not feeling well enough to go to school on Friday. Then Duckit got sick today and ended up getting having to stay home with strep for TWO days. I told her strep just stood for Sick & Tired of Redundant Education Policies and that she wasn’t really sick but she should stay home anyway cuz at least STREP would look good as an excuse.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-59186888821934489062011-02-11T11:59:00.008-06:002011-02-18T21:48:31.136-06:00Off Like a Cheap Prom Dress

How to Be Stuck At HomeAn instructional resource for your entertainment by WTP Roll over and ask MyPoolBoy to turn the heated mattress pad back on for me. Lay in bed while the sun rises. Remark to the 2 dogs and cat who are hogging the lower portion of the bed that I never even get to see the sun rise on weekdays because I am usually inside the school building. Stretch left leg when

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-91913659063921042512011-01-30T09:48:00.001-06:002011-01-31T20:02:07.601-06:00Photo Opportunity

MyPoolBoy found this awesome eye candy on Facebook. Had to share so that you would spew your morning coffee on your computer screen like I did, thereby wasting perfectly good Baileys (REAL Baileys, too... not the knock-off crap you get from the bottom shelf because it's still a week from payday and you have to save a little money until then to buy shi+ like FOOD). BUT....Honestly, my first

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-32318454788856297912011-01-22T13:40:00.000-06:002011-01-22T13:40:48.173-06:00Welcome to McDonalds

This is the kind of crap I find on the Internet when I don't have anything to do on a Saturday afternoon.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-91315474354253401692011-01-22T09:17:00.000-06:002011-01-22T09:17:38.471-06:00Craigslist Made Me Laugh

Not as good as the Freakshow Craigslist post but the last part made me LOL "I have a bunch of fresh cut bamboo from yard work today, it is free to who ever wants it. Just drop me a line. Oh and please no dumb questions you can answer yourself using google. I have a backyard full of bamboo that grows 12feet every 3 days all year, I just want it gone..... I don't care if you use it to

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-27321299092719636552011-01-20T22:36:00.000-06:002011-01-20T22:36:40.203-06:00Breaking Training

Before I get too far, let me just point out that the best part of faculty meetings is food. Our campus usually does a fabulous job of providing enough fare to keep my mouth busy chewing and disengaged from smart-mouthing for at least a little while. So. When we had a "short meeting" last week I had to make sure that I went by the candy machine and spend an assorted accumulation of change from

I had a thought about the whole astrological controversy in the news right now: The Zodiac Killer is gonna have to start all the h3ll over.

F*CK CANCER!

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-53281982723884831022011-01-13T21:47:00.001-06:002011-02-17T20:54:23.982-06:00More 2012 and WWJP

There's a Hopi Indian 2012-myth-debunking on tv right now. MyPoolBoy pointed at the tv and said "2012" and I confused him by saying "no, 2102" and he's like "what?" and I told him that the clock on the cable box read 9:02 and that it was NOT 2012, but 21:02. He is growing a bit weary of my quick wit. Now. WWJP. What would Jesus pack? I saw a VBS (vacation Bible school)-type picture of

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-30043795788309325312010-12-31T21:34:00.002-06:002011-08-28T09:48:58.351-05:00Last Post of 2010

First of all I would like to remind everyone that after tonight, we are all merely one year away from me claiming my rightful place as the Princess of the Leftover World. Anyway, here is my Alpha and Omega - the first post in a long time and the last post of 2010: BannedCamp had a discussion thread concerning Facebook posts that cajole you into putting that you love Jesus in your status or you

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-47969602809122160872010-11-21T12:42:00.000-06:002010-11-21T12:42:39.932-06:00My Sunday Reading Material

Another BannedCamp suggestion Amazon Flask Review

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-30420317578761621752010-11-05T16:53:00.002-05:002010-11-05T16:53:55.491-05:00After School Snack Time

sweet tea vodka & cheesecake

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-32819493595202046842010-10-19T16:36:00.000-05:002010-10-19T16:36:07.947-05:00You Know What's Funny?

Drop cheese whiz in the middle of a fat dog's back.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-41948807818106874252010-10-17T18:12:00.001-05:002010-11-02T19:26:53.500-05:00My Response to Some of Y'all's Facebook Secrets Answers

Here are the "secret questions" that various folks have answered about me on some Facebook application that will probably cause us all to get hacked and crash our computers with viruses. I have decided to respond to each one because some of y'all don't get me AT ALL. Is WTl's profile picture cute? Yes

Here is the report that I had to send to the GrandMarshal this evening. I wonder if the rat's name was Ben? When I was leaving from dropping off my sub plans this evening (exiting the west door behind the cafeteria) I saw a BIG GIANT FREAKING NEW YORK CITY SEWER RAT running from the cafeteria across the sidewalk and out into the grass by Hyphen's window. I am not exaggerating about it being

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-24537366412339147782010-08-30T20:55:00.001-05:002010-08-30T21:07:43.363-05:00Running on Empty

Well APPARENTLY the gas tank on Lucille is off by a quarter of a tank. Because that's when it chugs and sputters to a complete halt. Also, I am metaphorically "out of gas" because it was a crazy day trying to see Thunderduck for a little bit for his birthday, rushing out to pick up Chunk from football (which is when I ran out of gas), then drove him back out to the stadium since MyPoolBoy had

On Karaoke night of our Lucille trip to the coast, the KJ (DJ for karaoke, duh), would selfishly sing his very ownself in between all of the patrons' (our) requests. It was ok until he made a stupid, fatal mistake. Fatal as in - he killed the party mood. Pretty sure that KJ was a local and just didn't get it. The coastal wildlife bears a bit of explanation to fully understand the caliber of

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-76563422159140888612010-08-18T23:47:00.003-05:002010-08-19T00:02:17.137-05:00The Absolutely and Quite Possibly Completely Incoherent Ramblings of the White Trash Princess on a Random Wednesday Evening

Admonition, my pretties: There is no structure, reason, nor sequence to any of the following. It is extremely probable that there will be multiple typos, misspellings, and grammatical errors, but Deep Eddy is my friend this evening, and so I'm in eff-it mode. Just so you know. Ok. Now - Some news. My Beemer sticky things came in today! Basically these are pieces of vinyl pinstriping

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-70234403873886421802010-08-10T17:37:00.001-05:002010-08-11T08:11:29.260-05:00Stuck On You

Striptease left this fabulous bumper sticker for the convertible POS Princess Mobile in my box at school Because there was not enough room to write "Back off, seriously dude, because the blonde behind the wheel is learning to shift a 5-speed and might roll backwards and kill you dead as she is driving while peroxidated."

MyPoolBoy found an app for his phone that basically turns his phone screen into a karaoke screen. I mean, plays the music, has the words color-coded, tells you when there is a musical break -- the whole thing. Then he starts griping cuz some of the songs aren't working. Glass half-empty. I told him it doesn't matter - it is KARAOKE ON HIS FRIGGIN' PHONE. Does he not realize how much fun

Due to her predisposition to run and cower on the bed and shake whenever someone new enters the house, Thunderduck's pet bull has earned a new nickname: BFGC (Big F~%*ing Giant Chihuahua). Now for some bad news: the BFGC just ate the heel off of one of my Frederick's of Hollywood Beer Pong stilettos.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-24735885785180437292010-08-04T13:30:00.001-05:002010-08-04T13:31:45.809-05:00I'm a Trophy Wife

I told MyPoolBoy this morning that he was my favorite person and that I loved him. He just sort of grunted. So I asked him if I was on his nerves and he said "not yet" - in other words, he had the full expectation that I was eventually going to be on his nerves so he was just answering as truthfully as he could at that particular moment in time. I tried to continue the conversation by telling

BannedCamp has provided a good round of screeching laughter for me once again. Just watch the video. I posted this on QueenB's facebook so some of you are gonna get double-dipped, but y'all - "Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo husbands, cuz they raping everybody out here"

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-33754513487729579292010-07-30T11:04:00.017-05:002010-07-30T15:36:19.404-05:00Shameless AW Flaunt of My Semi-Middle-Class Status

I will warn you that this is a picture-heavy post and it is chock-full of confusing automotive terms that a highly-paid licensed professional auto mechanic won't even understand because I am basically making the terms up as I go along. Just spent almost my entire extra summer school pay for the month of July on a 1993 BMW POS convertible that I can't drive. Oh it's not that it doesn't RUN --

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-76247950706255872752010-07-29T23:02:00.003-05:002010-07-29T23:08:01.757-05:00How to Mortify Your Son at a Bar

I excitedly got two of Thunderduck's friends to go out the back door of our latest hangout and check out my new-to-me car (convertible Beemer = NOT a MOMCAR & I will try to post a pic later). On the way out the door, some dude coming back from the bathroom saw us leaving together and said "Hey, two to one - that's kind of unfair" I shot back: "It's ok - I'm TWICE their age so it evens out."

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-22737099813223696812010-07-27T22:55:00.002-05:002010-07-27T23:27:04.547-05:00Another TMI Post Punctuated with Some WTHIWWY

MyPoorPoolBoy. He is enduring quite a bit of mouth-runneth-over syndrome this evening, and I'm really pretty sure it is because I have discovered this:Deep Eddy Sweet Tea VodkaNow, due to my effed-up precocious predisposition to developing kidney stones since the medically unrealistic age of 26, I am not supposed to have tea. So basically, I am risking my renal health to even be in the same

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-69134892006078975412010-07-27T22:27:00.006-05:002010-07-27T23:57:34.310-05:00Hisssssss-teria at the Beach House

That circled speckled brown spot next to the Solo cup is a snake. A RATTLE snake. A 2-1/2 foot long rattlesnake that was sunning himself beside the house where we were staying at the beach. Next to the only stairs that could take us down to the lower level where our beer coolers were stored. So pretty much this a$$hole snake held all our beer hostage while we were stranded on the second story

After my post this past weekend about one-legged birds and safe words, MyPoolBoy expressed his usual mortification at my unusual spin on life with his usual "What The Hell Is Wrong With You?" comment. He pointed out that I can't even use my "VodkaMakesMeSayStuff" label for these sorts of posts because I am just sick enough to come up with this shi+ when I am stone-a$$ sober. So he assumes there

When the Lucilles were at the beach the other day, we saw this bird skittering around kinda awkwardly. Like he was off-balance cuz he was one-legged or something. As he got closer we noticed that he was, indeed, off-balance cuz he was one-legged. Actually he was one-and-a-half-legged. One of the girls got all PETA-ish and started feeling sorry for it and wondered out loud what could have

I was attempting to demonstrate my physical prowess to the Lucilles while we were at the beach this afternoon. So I took my empty beer can and placed it between my thighs to crush it. Which, incidentally I was able to accomplish and pass the resulting aluminum pseudo-disk over to Felix for a souvenir. Isn't that impressive? Not as impressive as the surprisingly round and symmetrical dueling

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-24711658539608644182010-07-20T00:42:00.004-05:002010-07-20T01:07:04.710-05:00Sunny Beaches

Day 1 of the 5th edition of Lucilles at the Coast. I have already had some fabulously brilliant vodka-induced ideas and observations. Like my beach chair, which was originally tan, but I deemed it necessary to paint pink and green and stuff because I cannot be normal. I love this chair because it has a zippered storage compartment on the back, a little pillow headrest, a cupholder and cell

Just told MyPoolBoy that I was crazy about him. Then I told him that actually I was just crazy, but I disguise it as being crazy about him so that it appears more socially acceptable.

I love prescription drug commercials. More specifically, I love prescription drug commercial side effect disclaimers. Ok. Frankly what I love is making FUN OF prescription drug commercial side effect disclaimers. Like, the ones that say "serious side effects may occur, including death."Ummmmm...Yeah. I'll take "death" for 2000, Alex. Dude are you so hurtin' to get it up that you would

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-55338552494210870752010-07-09T21:38:00.005-05:002010-07-11T11:21:37.144-05:00Holy Impropriety, Batman

We're watching this investigative news show and the mistress of this preacher said that he seduced her by counseling with her and holding her hand and telling her that he wanted to pray with her.MyPoolBoy said that was one way to get her on her knees.It wouldn't work with me. I'd get down there and get sidetracked and start cleaning out from under the bed or something...

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-29924829695016326172010-07-08T22:25:00.006-05:002010-07-28T00:00:44.009-05:00Suh-Weet!

KY has these new sensational body syrups or wtf ever advertised on tv right now - chocolate for her and strawberry for him. And it's supposed to make everything about my marital relations be more than I ever could have hoped for. Or something like that.I told MyPoorGulliblePoolBoy that we should get some and he, being a boy, got all excited and is like "yeah, yeah, we should."And then I told

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-12860343631199359512010-07-08T22:18:00.004-05:002010-07-09T11:18:07.185-05:00Navels and Nasals

So. Another Felix and WTP bonding moment. Got my navel pierced today. Felix got her nose pierced. Of course we had to be together to do it because we are like middle school cheerleaders when it comes to defacing our temples (bodies) and we can't do anything by ourselves like big girls. MyPoolBoy and her niece (whose boyfriend owns a bar - this is important for later) came along with her

Well. I was in bi+ch mode tonight. I know, big surprise, right? One of the more annoying poker players showed up sporting a baseball cap tonight. This was unusual and noticeable simply because he regularly shows up with an overly-coiffed Brylcreemed style of obviously fake strawberry gray atop his noggin. I wanted to prove it to myself and any other morbidly curious onlookers that the pink

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-41999595738722846302010-06-30T20:29:00.004-05:002010-06-30T20:40:25.771-05:00You Know What?

They have these handrails in public bathrooms. So that when you have had 3 beers and are attempting to "hover" so that you don't get preggers or catch an STD from the toilet seat you can catch yourself before you fall. Wasn't that nice of them? Thunderduck is trying to ignore me. He is NO FUN.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-30136465768561669932010-06-30T20:21:00.000-05:002010-06-30T20:20:48.256-05:00The Crazies Invent a Sport

I work with some extremely crazy people. Not a big surprise since you have to be crazy to hang with me anyway, but this time I laughed SO HARD. Dehydration laughing. Cuz you are peeing and crying from laughing and you lose all your bodily fluids from both ends and get dehydrated and have to go get more beer.We were at StripTease's house and Duckit and Felix and I were all sitting on the

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-56436222129688916652010-06-27T07:05:00.002-05:002010-06-27T07:10:33.882-05:00A New All-Time Low

DonnyCat is usually disgusting - I've mentioned that here before... his white fur doesn't really look white, he rarely bathes, usually has sticker-burrs matted in his fur, bleeding scabs from lord knows what kind of activities...in other words: He's unpettable, unless you just sort of scratch him on the back with a stick or a screwdriver or whatever object you have handy because you don't want to

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-71311932911316107852010-06-25T11:27:00.002-05:002010-06-25T11:36:37.938-05:00WTP Gardening Tips

Just saw that Thunderduck posted on Facebook he was getting off 1/2 day and he just got his check. I replied to him that it was good because that meant he could pay for beer and snacks when he came home early to help finish building the fence around the garden because I caught a momma possum and her ugly piggy back baby possum heading out of our back yard and across the road to the neighbor's

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-34412177314349283252010-06-25T11:10:00.000-05:002010-06-25T11:35:15.520-05:00Anyone Have Some Mack Daddy Grammar Skills That Can Handle This?

50's music on at the bakery. Nothing that could lead to me blogging about necrophiliac crooners or cougars with VD or anything. Slow sock-hop type songs. Told MyPoolBoy that it made me want him to take me dancing so I could grope him in the dark. He just grunted. I'm not sure if that was a Yes grunt or a no grunt. My translation skills are waning. I gotta get it figured out

This mean-a$$ hateful old woman who was volunteering at the registration/awards table at Chunk's track meet yesterday unwisely crossed my path after I was hot, tired, and feeling especially maternal. And I was nice. Chunk had won his first event and gone down and gotten his medal for it earlier. Towards the end of the meet, he got 2nd in his 2nd event and was so excited that he ran to their

I was talking to a friend who doesn't have kids the other day. She said she and her hubby wouldn't adopt because you could never be sure what would happen. From my own personal experience of genetically becoming a parent, I would have to say that, the million to one chance of the right sperm cell making contact and turning into a halfway normal human being is pretty much a crapshoot, too.

MyPoolBoy said I can have no more caffeine this morning.

From Gary Lewis and the Playboys: Walk along the lake with someone new Have yourself a summer fling or two But remember I'm in love with you and Be sure to stop by the free clinic before you come back home to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am really in fine form this morning and MyPoorPoolBoy is having to sit in public and suffer through it. They are playing the 60's channel on the satellite radio at the bakery and I can't control my brain mouth at all. First, Judy Collins - the Emily Dickinson of her generation, was on singing some lame sad bullshi+ song about why she is so dayum lonely (uh - cuz you are UGLY, Judy fix your

Just was downtown eating at a cafe. Hand to Gawd - Bi+chslap's oldest child came in, asked the waitress to let him taste the pie, and SHE GOT A FORKFUL OF PIE FROM ONE OF THE PIES IN THE CASE AND LET HIM HAVE A BITE. Then he walked out. I would love to know how he got that deal to go down, cuz I *heart* pie.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-10488486316647657592010-06-15T16:55:00.001-05:002010-06-15T17:36:35.811-05:00I Hear You Knockin'

Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door. Outside of Lurch (who just talks in circles and confuses the crap out of everyone anyway), MyPoolBoy is hands-down the best religion-repellent that I know. He opened the door, they introduced themselves and asked his name, and then they started their spiel. MyPoolBoy interrupted word #3 or 4 by saying "No Thank You" and so they asked him if he knew anyone

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7449077.post-19777307852720392252010-06-15T06:20:00.002-05:002010-06-15T06:20:23.494-05:00Cougar Moment of the Day

How much does an Italian soccer player cost? I would like to buy one, please.

Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet Countyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16728030716566383775noreply@blogger.com0