Graduation recovery

Ok, so Graduation night (morning after, actually) we had gone to TrainWreck's Project Grad to chaperone and we didn't get in until 5 am -- well, TrainWreck came home about 7 am because he had won a tv and wanted to put it in his room before going back to his friend's house. We were sleeping on the sofa bed in the front room and TrainWreck was making some noise as he got in -- and MyPoolBoy came totally unhinged! He started yelling, telling TrainWreck to just move out, pack his stuff and leave right then and there, so TrainWreck took off walking down the street and MyPoolBoy jumped in the car and chased him down -- almost hit him - crazy MF! Well, unfortunately/fortunately MonsterInLaw was staying with us and she saw and heard the whole thing.... hmmm what a sweet boy you've raised, huh? Maybe your daughter in law is not such a bi+ch after all.... maybe your baby is really an A--Hole. Pretty much everyone woke up after that and MonsterInLaw left pretty early. I slept the whole rest of the day, but at least I didn't come unglued and rant after anyone.

End Of The Year CD Gift

I made all the Lucilles a cd of the music we are most likely to get in trouble to. I included liner notes on pink paper (of course) with the following reminders of our good times together.
NOTE: All of these incidents are true - maybe some day I will get time to share them.

* Lucille - a song to sing when Howling at the Moon (You bi+ch you $lut you wh0re)
* Margaritaville - a song to sing when your drink floaty (Jose) goes down the river without you
* Redneck Woman - a song to sing when picking up guys named Rodney
* Brick House - a song to sing when you are up next for Karaoke
* Mustang Sally- a song to sing when making fun of administrators who drive Mustangs or when pretending to ride horses and rope cowboys
* Harper Valley PTA - a song to sing at the faculty Christmas party
* Girls Just Want to Have Fun - a song for the 80s girls to sing badly at the top of their lungs
* Friends in Low Places - a song to sing when you are asking for a job a R-Bar
* Ladies' Night - a song for the 70s girls to sing on the dance floor
* Jose Cuervo - a song to sing the next morning
* Jessie's Girl - a song to sing when you are slithering drunk across the top of a grand piano
* We Are Family - a song to sing to tell your friends that you L-O-O-O-V-E them
* Delta Dawn- a song to sing when you are peeing down your leg
* Brown-Eyed Girl - a song to sing when you are too drunk to remember the words to anything else (sha la la la la la la la la la la ti da)
* Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia - a song to sing when you pass out in the booth at Denny's

Need to write or I'll explode

Got to use a gift certificate that a student got me for a facial today. You'd think that would make me be all stress-free and happy, right? Well, I was until MyPoolBoy called as I was pulling out of the parking lot and started his whining about how he wished he could get one, no one ever gives him anything, he had a migraine all day, why don't I turn my car around and go back to the parking lot where he was waiting with Lurch? (mainly because I was trying to call Lurch at that moment and his phone interrupted that call, so I wasn't shirking what I needed to do, but by golly the world revolves around him and I stupidly must've forgotten it while I was de-stressing, so yep, I better tense back up and worry about his sorry butt again!) guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt
It brought up an argument (of course) of how I always get to go on trips and get massages and facials and he hasn't been anywhere without me or the boys since his dad took him hunting in Ozona (B.S., because he went and played golf with some buddies since them, but whatever makes you miserable)

Anyway - I pointed out to him that the massage and facial were GIFTS from students (I left out the fact that he has had two massages in the past year from my sister Pepita who is a massage therapist, one as a gift and one WE PAID FOR) and my trips, well granted the San Antonio trips (the 2 that I've gotten to go on) cost us about $100 each year, but Scotland was a scholarship deal -- I had a 4.0 GPA and wrote a thesis so I EARNED IT. Would he be happier if I just didn't use them and let them go to waste so he didn't feel left out? Yeah, probably.

I swear he's jealous over my grades and how fast I got through college, too, and he gets pissed at ME if I don't help HIM do the same, but he doesn't want to do the work. I have yet to see him study until 3 in the morning and get up to go to work at 6:30.

Also, my last blood-related relative, an aunt, on my dad's side (besides my dad, my brothers and some cousins) died this past week. The funeral was Saturday. Of course MyPoolBoy gets on the phone and tells MonsterInLaaw and they get into a discussion about how many deaths we have had in our family in the last 2 months (his father, my grandmother, his great-aunt, my aunt, and also her son's mother-in-law -- my cousin had to bury his mother-in-law on Friday and his mother on Saturday). Anyway, MonsterInLaw tells him that his aunt (not blood-aunt) had a nephew on her family's side that died a few weeks before -- now, MyPoolBoy doesn't even know this person, but he decides to add it to the list of family that has died because he cannot stand that I might get some attention or sympathy from someone. Honestly, my aunt bought my prom dress, sewed for me every summer when I was little, and took care of me when my little brother was run over by a car when I was little. And here's MyPoolBoy-- poor little PoolBoy-- has a migraine because he's so stressed that his aunt's nephew on her mother's side died. wah wah wah SO I'm trying to grieve and trying not to cry because I want to be tough (can't be a girl in front of him because APPARENTLY I am in a bad mood too much -- well holy cow! my family is dropping like flies all around me!) and MyPoolBoy is griping. The thing that really burned my butt was when I was trying to pack for the funeral Friday morning and I turned on the closet light to find my black shoes. He got mad because it woke him up (at 6:30 -- everyone else in the house gets up by then, anyway, but he gets to sleep until after 7:00 - lazy jerk). I'm thinking HELLO my AUNT DIED and I need to pack for a funeral -- you are doing NOTHING to be supportive except to gripe that you have to teach all day and then have to drive all afternoon to take me to a funeral - ya know what? DON'T FREAKING GO! I don't need to feel guilty about being in mourning. I cleaned BOTH of MonsterInLaw's houses when his dad died AND packed AND shopped for funeral clothes for the whole family AND stayed for over a week at MonsterInLaw's house and he is bitching at me about the closet light and having to drive for one weekend? JERK!

Get off your lazy rear end and DO SOMETHING ... he keeps griping about his classes -- heck he's gotten 2 extensions for one of them and extra time for the other one's research paper.

Just a mess. What a big whiner baby. I'm tired of being married to a child.

Only 2 more days of school thank goodness. We have been watching movies because they dumped all the paperwork on us the last 4 days instead of spreading it out over a few weeks. I'm making a checklist for next year that I will keep in my handy-dandy pink notebook and set up some kind of timeline for starting earlier than they expect.

Found this picture -- thought it was especially appropriate since my aunt was a Scrabble wiz.
Kept hearing her voice as I was falling asleep Saturday night.

trapped

I have decided that part of my depression spiral is due to the trapped feeling/situation that I am in because of circumstances in my life. Financially, we are tight right now waiting to get MyPoolBoy through college and we are basically relying on my salary only and what he can bring in subbing (which we will not have this summer). And we have no insurance on him right now either, so that is a bit of a constant back-of-my-mind worry. MyPoolBoy doesn't have the inspection or tags on the car updated so I drive in fear of a ticket all the time. MyPoolBoy wants to finish school in a year, but that means that he has to find a grant or scholarship for the fall and spring and also that we will have to pay for this summer out of our pockets (with him not working !) Then Thunderduck called last night and his financial aid is only giving him $650 for the fall semester and the rest is going to be a loan - he seemed a little perturbed but I got a little miffed and told him that I had been trying for 7 years to get him and his brothers to keep their grades up and apply for scholarships - instead I filed the FAFSA and basic grant paperwork and they applied for nothing. SO they are getting pretty much nothing. I am sweating how to get MyPoolBoy through and now I have to worry about Thunderduck and TrainWreck also. If I was not married to a liar and we were not WHITE F-ING TRASH then we would not have our house mortgaged to what amounts to a loan shark company for WAY more than it was worth because of his bad choices a few years ago and instead it would almost be paid off and we would have some equity in it that we could get for college. Instead, I don't even have the option of selling it and getting a smaller place to make money for them because it is in such a state of disaster and disrepair because MyPoolBoy starts all these f-ing projects and never finishes them so we can't even sell this piece of crap - I AM TRAPPED.

And I sat and spent my Mother's Day:
A) cooking dinner for everyone cuz no one else even cooked lunch
B) filling out graduation invitations because TrainWreck has done nothing and all the family is wanting to know where they are!
C) crying because I feel so helpless at the fact that there is nothing financially I can do about anything
D) putting up with everyone else's bad moods and arguing and hatefulness toward each other
E) wearing my pajamas all day

I need out of here SO BAD and we can't afford for me to go anywhere or do anything for myself.
At least my weight is down but I'm still fat.

I AM TRAPPED

State Track Meet media blitz

Well, TrainWreck and his friend, Hercules, a were a media circus at the state track meet. The news stations and papers had heard about Hercules giving TrainWreck his triple jump spot at regionals and so after TrainWreck finished his last jump he had 3 newspaper reporters and 2 camera crews swarm him to get the story. Add to that the fact that Hercules fell on his last event - the hurdles - and got really banged up. It made for quite a evening for the 10 o'clock news, I'll tell you.

Got lots of scrapbooking to do! TrainWreck finished 8th but he got to go and he has this great story to tell about all the media attention now so it was cool.

Gotta go , Chunk has a baseball game out of town.

Article about TrainWreck in our local paper

No school today! Going to the state track meet! I think I'll make some t-shirts with the boys' pictures on them.
This is a really good article about TrainWreck and his best friend in our local paper. I emailed it to all my relatives!

'One Last Jump'

TrainWreck will make his debut at the State Track and Field Meet

BY J F
Daily Tribune Staff

For PeytonPlace senior TrainWreck it always comes down to one last jump.

One last jump to win the long jump at the Region IV qualifiers meet.

One last jump to win the triple jump at the Region IV track and field meet.

One last jump to qualify for the UIL State Track and Field Meet. It's the culmination of a season of work, of hours in the training room getting bandaged from scrapes and falls, of enduring the hot Texas spring afternoons getting his steps correct before he sprints down the runway.

One last jump to make good on a promise to teammate and best friend Hercules, who gave up his spot at the Region IV meet for TrainWreck.

One last jump.

So before he took his attempt, he was stopped by Head Coach K F.
"He gets it in my head, 'You can do it. You can do it,'" TrainWreck said "And then it just happens."
TrainWreck sprints down the runway, gets his steps right and flings his body forward as far as he can.
As he's running, one thought continues to play in his mind:
"I've jumped that far before, so I can do it again."
"I don't know, it's just..." he said as his mind drifts back to his winning leap of 44 feet and one-half inch at the Region IV meet. Then he dropped his gaze, smiled and said, "Yeah...."
TrainWreck is a track and field athlete. He participates in AAU track that starts in January and goes into the summer track season. He participates in the decathlon, the 200-meter run, the long jump, triple jump and high jump.
TrainWreck said he watched the decathletes and decided it was something he wanted to try.
"It's a lot of fun and a lot of work," he said. "My favorite event is the javelin. I'm not very good at it, but it's fun."
For the PackMules, he is entered in as many as five events: the 400-meter dash, the 1600-meter relay, the high jump, triple jump, and long jump.
At the District 27-4A Meet, TrainWreck won the long jump with a leap of 21'6".
He finished third in the 400 meters with a time of 51.36 seconds. That qualified him for the Region IV meet.
TrainWreck finished fourth in the triple jump, behind his best friend, Hercules.
Hercules was having a fabulous day. He, too, was entered in five events. He qualified for regionals in four of them.
But after he and F talked, the two decided it might be best for Hercules to concentrate on three events instead of four. So he decided not to enter the triple jump at the Region IV meet.
TrainWreck said Hercules told him of his decision not to participate in the triple jump soon after the district meet.
"He told me he wanted to concentrate on the hurdles and high jump," TrainWreck said. "The high jump was the same time as the triple jump. He thought four events was going to be too much. I told him that was cool. I was pretty excited."
The senior vowed he would join his friend at the state meet, if Hercules qualified for state in the high jump.
TrainWreck has been triple jumping for three years. He and Hercules took an interest when they saw teammate E T doing it.
F showed them the steps of the triple jump, and they were hooked.
"We were pretty bad to begin with," he said. "And 40 feet was far away. Now if I'm not jumping 40 feet, I'm having a bad day."
Hercules took a seat near the pit and waited for TrainWreck to begin his sprint for his last attempt at the regional meet.
"I knew as I landed it was a good jump," TrainWreck said. "All the coaches and my parents went crazy. It was kind of like, 'all right - let's go to state now.'"
After his last jump, TrainWreck and Hercules went to the pit to measure. TrainWreck landed backward and had jumped into the wind.
"It would have been 46 feet or so," he siad. "I love doing it. It's fun."
The favorite going in to the triple jump at the regional meet was A K , of T. An athlete has six attempts but can choose to take as many as the want at once or one round at a time.
K chose to take five at once and save the last one for the final round. He took the lead after his second attempt. TrainWreck had already jumped 43'3-3/4".
TrainWreck and K are friends. TrainWreck told K he would jump 44 feet that day.
"If you get a 44, I'll just give up,"TrainWreck recalled K saying to him before the start of the competition.
Because he already had the lead, TrainWreck got the final attempt of the competition. K finished with a leap of 43'7".
F said he told TrainWreck he had already qualified for state before the triple jumper went for his last attempt. TrainWreck wanted to win the event.
The son of MyPoolBoy and TheWhiteTrashPrincess, TrainWreck will be attending the University of Texas-Poor Boys to study sports medicine or kinesiology. He will likely run track and play soccer.
Older brother Thunderduck plays soccer for UTPB.
TrainWreck will be making his state meet debut Friday. He said he was close last year but had a bad day at district.
"I think it's an honor to go there and work hard and compete," he said. "I think it's hard to get to state. Knowing I'll be going down in history is pretty cool."
TrainWreck is the first Packmule to go state in his event.
No matter the order he jumps in, TrainWreck said he will go to the state meet with the attitude of being crowned the state's best Class 4A triple jumper.
"It's never over," he said.
"You still have a chance even if you're in last place."
As long as he has one last jump.

redemption and more omg!

First of all - wtf is going on with my weight? I ballooned up this week! The highest I have ever been! I have been doing TrimSpa and working out a little in the mornings and eating less - and actually getting more salads. Hopefully tomorrow it will go down since I walked all over town for 5 hours.

Well, my kids redeemed themselves on the field trip today. One of my volunteer moms couldn't make it because of work and the other flaked out and went to a hair appointment and did not meet us until the return trip back. SOOO I was walking 17 kids downtown by myself and they were SOOOO good. Then I started thinking back to the horrible field trip that we had a couple of weeks ago and realized that most of the problems were in Felix's homeroom that day. I also saw how out of line and noisy they were when we met up to eat pizza at the halfway point. My kids were fabulous and got compliments everywhere we went. I told them I was really proud of them, but I will probably take them for some extra recess when I get back Monday (going to the state track meet tomorrow!).

More omg! -- One of the teachers at our school has a son who was in shop when MyPoolBoy taught it the first semester. He had gone home and told her everything and she wanted to know if he was exaggerating because he told her a retired Mr. Rogers-y ex principal was the sub now. I told her no he really must of done something because they did not send him home for the rest of the day/week/whatever - they took his keys and he had cleaned out his stuff. She added the comment that it must be really bad to be our super this week because there had been a break-in at the high school and a bus had run into another one of our teacher's NEW CAR and did not stop at the scene! I told her that on our field trip it just got worse, because while we were visiting the police station the school officer held us in the lobby for a while because they were processing a 9th grader and we couldn't go in yet. He got a cell phone call (from our super) while he was standing there with us and I heard him say something about visiting with a sexual assault/sexual harassment counselor. OMG! And my student in alternative school apparently mooned one of the other students in class yesterday.

omg!

MyPoolBoy called me today from over at the middle school. A lot of kids from his shop class came to the room where he was subbing and told him that they fired the guy who was teaching shop now. The guy apparently pushed a kid down and called him a name because the kid told him to lighten up - after the guy had accused another kid wrongly of throwing a dodge ball at him. Anyway the guy had his room cleaned out and his keys turned in by 3:00. MyPoolBoy said they had called him in class to see if he could sub the rest of the week (which he can't because of a mid-term and the state track meet with TrainWreck). We were saying we don't know how someone could not figure out that you are not supposed to do that to a kid (certified or not - because MyPoolBoy said he thinks this guy is just a contractor with a bachelors degree).

Wildest Dream

Last night I dreamed that I caught MyPoolBoy in bed with another man - one of the VERY LARGE coaches at the school where he works. So I looked up on a dream interpretation site to see what it meant.
The betrayal/adultery part means that I don't trust him (DUH) and the homosexual part means that I feel that he does not love me as much as I do him. (DUH) The freaky part was that in my dream I was not shocked - just mad. I think that probably could mean that nothing he does to me could surprise me any more... he has hurt me in so many ways in the past, this was just one more thing of embarrassment that I had to endure because of him.