Tequila as Truth Serum

Well, I started drinking SPQ Margaritas after 12 Florida time (which means it was around 11:20ish here). MyPoolBoy and I were on the patio discussing the possibilities for the evening since there is no track and no poker tonight. This brought up the discussion of needing some chips/salsa and therefore needing money. MPB wanted to use my credit card (again, as usual - Now, with the exception of a $30 pedicure, he has been with me - and in fact saying "let's use YOUR card" - for every one of these charges.) It would not be such a point of contention except that MPB is a complete dumba$$ when it comes to finances. With the right amount of tequila, I am usually just drunk enough to tell the truth.

The Conversation:
MPB - You still should have $70 on your credit card. Let me go get online and check and see if it is posting the credit from the gas station the other day.

WTP - ok

MPB - (later, on the internet and in a huff) It still shows that the credit hasn't posted.

WTP - really? Let me see....
no, look, there is not any charge to the gas station, so they must have credited it.

MPB - then why don't you have $70 on your credit card any more? It says that you only used $350.

WTP (very patiently) - that is for the month of JUNE only. Look at May and see what we spent in Florida.

MPB - (checking the May balance) What the h3ll did you spend $140 on in Kissimmee

WTP - uh.......a new digital camera at Walmart, and socks and underwear for you because you didn't pack any.....

MPB - oh

MPB - (returning to the June balance page) So where is the $70 credit?

WTP - well, if you add the $140 from May and the $350 from June that's where the $500 that I had on my credit card went.

MPB - Yeah, but when I talked to that guy about clearing the gas station charge, he said it should post by Tuesday.

WTP - then that means there was NO money on my credit card when I tried to use it.

MPB - So what is the $70 right here?

WTP - that was Olive Garden

MPB - no that should have been $50something

WTP - NO you told me to leave enough of a tip to make it an even 70

MPB - so where is the credit for the other 50?

WTP - it's not on there ... do you see it on there?

MPB - no, so then they took off the 70... so where is the other 50?

WTP - it has been credited so it is NOT THERE. MPB, you have to treat these charges like they were in a check book register so that you know where you stand.

MPB (clearly not getting it thanks to his Football High School diploma with a consumer-math-only education) - But what about the $70 that the guy on the phone told me was there?

WTP - it probably was in between crediting the $50something Olive Garden charge and posting the $70 Olive Garden charge. It is THERE (pointing to screen).

MPB - You are not getting my point... you need to follow my logic

WTP - Honey, it is right, if you add the 140 and 350 you get 490 - that is almost $500.

MPB - Ok but what about the $70? Or at least the $50 credit to Olive Garden.

WTP - It's there. Add it up. Think about it.

MPB - You're still not following my logic.

WTP - (with tequila induced honesty/bravado) No, I'm not following your logic because YOU'RE WRONG!

I then went back outside and finished another margarita. Then I did my nails and I came back in to blog while intoxicated.


Sometimes the truth hurts.
Sometimes it's funny.

Seriously, this is the first time I've ever very bluntly told him that he is WRONG. There is an unwritten rule in his little effed up world that no one but him is ever allowed to be right. I crossed the line today. I'll probably be burned at the stake.

Dumba$$.