Seasons Greetings, Y'all! Here, in retort to ShallowHal's family Christmas letter (cracked my a$$ up - they put in there that Thing1 was the "Most Improved" player on his PopWarner football team - which we all knows translates to mean that he sucked and then sucked less by the end of the season!). Anyhoo, I offer up our White Trash Christmas letter:
We would've got this to y'all through the mail and all, but we waited to see when the stamps would go on sale 1/2 off like the sales at Walmart, but did y'all know that the post office doesn't do that? Well, we sure as h3ll didn't, so that's why we're here on the web, posting it at the last minute.
Thunderduck is still living in the dorms at the big city college and he has a part time job fixin' tires down the street. He has gotten all the way to Medium Level on Guitar Hero and he promised that he will bring it down with him when he comes home for Christmas.
Trainwreck changed his major to Art and we are thinking that he just did it to look at all them naked paintings in those art books and whatnot. He got engaged to a nice girl, but she is from Virginia and we don't know what we're gonna do about having a Yankee in the family.
Lurch got through with football season with no concussions (of his own) and is getting ready to graduate. He has not decided on a college yet, and we are pretty darn afraid that THAT means he is planning on living here still.
Chunk was sent to his room to "clean it and not come out until it's done" so we're not even sure if he is still with us. We'll probably just claim him on our taxes and see if anyone calls bullshi+ on us.
Well, hope this letter finds you and yours all well and healthy. If any of you find the need to purchase a last-minute gift for one of us, we are sorely needin' some more rum for the fruitcake-baking, cuz we somehow keep a-runnin' out!
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