What My Obit Should NOT Say

I know that when I die, there will need to be some ground rules due to my questionable behavior while I am still alive. For instance, my obituary canNOT contain any euphemisms such as "crossing to the other side" -- which could be misconstrued as DrunkenFelix and I getting too drunk when we have to sleep in the same bed at the coast" and "sleeping with the Angels" is out because that could make folks think that I am still alive, just screwing a baseball team.