How to Win Drinks and Influence People

Here is the latest tidbit of wisdom to spew forth from the font of knowledge that I loving refer to as my sage, all-knowing friend, DrunkenFelix:

I have no morals, will you buy me a beer?

This could very well be classified as a pick-up line to rival I'm-on-Cialis and may-I-pet-your-weasel.

Let's just say you know someone is DUH-RUNK (2 syllables) when they are telling you repeatedly for a 20-minute tirade taking up several precious moments of your lifetime that you are their BEST FRIEND EVER. No, seriously you don't understand, you are their best friend ever.

Edited to add: I just spewed coffee on my already effed-up laptop screen because she left me a voicemail on my phone. All she says is: Hey call me and let me know how the night ended.

This officially goes down in history as the best voicemail I have ever received.
Coffee. Through the nose. Ouch.

You know you had fun if you can't remember anything.
Well, let me see... after we bailed you out of jail and found your pants.....