Customer Service

MyPoolBoy SLAYS me. He is not cut out to talk to machines. Pretty much he and machines of almost any kind don't get along anyway. At all. So he argues with them. Unsuccessfully, I might add. But he doesn't seem to catch on the futility of the situation. Which provides endless supplies of entertainment. So. Two of our cable boxes are not working with the new "upgraded channel guide" and he called the special customer service number to report a problem with our service. And he got a machine. And it's the usual state your name, account number, blah blah blah. But when they started the automated troubleshooting it went south pretty fast.

Automated Machine Customer Service Lady asked him if the trouble was with the programming or the cable box. He said cable box. (So far they are still on civil speaking terms.) Next. Automated Machine Customer Service Lady asked if the cable box was turned on. He said yes, dumba$$. Automated Machine Customer Service Lady caught the yes, but not the dumba$$.... I'm sorry, we could not process your response, please respond again - Is your cable box turned on? He said yes (with a decidedly frustrated look on his face). But she is unfazed and is able to continue with the process.

Then, Automated Machine Customer Service Lady suggested that he try something else: Have you turned your machine off and then on again to reboot? Now he responds with a short answer - yes - because he is mad at her and is communicating as little as possible (I know the feeling, Automated Machine Customer Service Lady). So Automated Machine Customer Service Lady says: was this successful in solving your problem? MyPoolBoy says - NO. Done tried that. Didn't work. And Automated Machine Customer Service Lady sweetly says again.... I'm sorry, we could not process your response, please respond again - Was this successful in solving your problem? So MyPoolBoy shortens his response again, only is louder this time: NO!

Wow. I'm thinking: This lady is a PRO! Cause he does that to me and I usually throw something or yell back or storm out of the room. THEN... She gives him some more suggestions that I begin to suspect he is not really listening to (again, Automated Machine Customer Service Lady - I know how you feel). Anyway - his responses begin to get a little bit unrelated to the cable box situation: What are you wearing? You sound pretty. Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend?

I think he was finally successful in breaking her icy, mechanical response mechanism, because she finally gave in and said Please hold - I will direct you to our next available representative for servicing. And he shouts: FINALLY! I get "serviced!" How much?

Then a live operator came on and talked to him and it was boring.