I Would Like to Thank...

First, thanks to the student who gave me the bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies for Teacher Appreciation Week this morning. They are gone. Along with this week's efforts to lose weight.

Next, thanks to MyPoolBoy for the beautiful bottle of cheap Merlot that accompanied the box of dishwashing detergent back from your trip to the store. Unlike the cookies, it is not gone yet, but I'm working on it. Perhaps this will deter any further suffering that you might incur due to my current hormonal state, including the unfortunate play-by-play I related to you this morning concerning my menstrual cycle and its surrounding conditions and/or circumstances. (Sorry 'bout that!) BTW - the wine has been opened, the Cascade has not.

Finally, thanks to a Facebook friend for sharing the link to this clip. I must say that although nothing ever leaves ME completely speechless, this little gem left me scratching my head and barely managing to muster a "wow" from an already compromised state of semi-consciousness this evening (remember - Milano cookies + Merlot + hormones).



I hereby solemnly vow to Felix that this fabulous ditty will be our anthem for karaoke night at the coast this year since we always sleep together and there are plenty of stories to tell about THAT - Keebler Elf dreams, kicking, clothing arguments, David Hasselhoff dreams, and presumed phone sex. Pee-peeing the bed is about the ONLY thing that hasn't happened yet!

Anyway, I tracked through the related videos on the sidebar of this one and discovered that this effed-up little VonTrapp family actually were a big hit throughout Europe in the 80s and 90s. How did I miss this? Without a doubt, Moses/Gandalf/Father Time as your back-up singer is a pretty big score!

So, clicking on the sidebar videos led me to a fabulous video of a song of theirs called "One More Freaking Dollar." Which I hereby declare my undying, unadulterated, unabashed, and unsober (Merlot, remember?) love for. And the lead singer on the video is a cutie. Except at that point of his life he was also JAILBAIT and that would make me a sinner of some sort.

Upon further clicking I discovered that he cut off the Sebastian Bach hairstyle and grew into a legal-sized man and was still a cutie. And a monk. Like, a monk in a monastery, not the TV detective. That FOR SURE makes me a sinner.

Look Out!

BannedCamp has provided a good round of screeching laughter for me once again.

Just watch the video.  I posted this on QueenB's facebook so some of you are gonna get double-dipped, but y'all - "Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo husbands, cuz they raping everybody out here" 

Pipsqueak

MyPoolBoy doesn't get me AT ALL. I am hereby sufficiently caffeinated and in the right mood that I am dancing along in my seat at the bakery watching this -- He is rolling his eyes at me. He may need slappin'.

Anyway.... The moves! The harmonies! You can't beat the Pips! This version is a little skewed (warning - not the original Pips!) But I freakin' love this song!!!!!!!!! So, let's recap for the morning: I'm a Pip, but I'm a Pip with cramps.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj_BbsOp7wY

Bric-a-Brac Theater Christmas

"Pudding, pudding, kill, kill!" BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn6rsDb_2Ws

Bohemian Rhapsody - Not Queen

Animal: Mama..... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

Coming soon.... the Thanksgiving post that was postponed due to the fact that MonsterInLaw still has dial-up.

Holy Vaca - This is HILARIOUS!

Put on your Depends before he gets to the second verse because it will cause you to laugh till you pee .... you've been warned --

If I'd had known this caliber of educational material was available, I would have had MyPoolBoy watching it in lieu of going to Spanish class.  We could have saved all that gas and tuition money!

Second Semester of Spanish Love Song - YouTube

The Way to a Man's Heart is Kool-Aid and a Push-Up Bra

"It's dramatic, but less ghetto..."

Johnny Cash Does Elvis - I'm Not Kidding

Absolutely one of the funniest things I've ever seen

My favorite video of the week

Octomom

What a backhand that doc has!
Jimmy Kimmel Live - made me snort my Aquafina.

Sham - Wow Video

Sham - Effing - Wow.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I needed a laugh. School sux.

VD

Valentine's Day - you people! I've done this twice now....

Actually, this year I do have a std comment:

Mono - the herpes of the middle school set.

So, I woke up in fine form this morning, and sans vodka, I have been rather mouthy and HILARIOUS to ME -- MyPoolBoy does not appreciate my random tidbits of humor as much as I do. Told Lurch he should keep a tally chart in the back of the bakery to see how many of the last minute purchases are made by men vs. women. Also referred to the "Ethels" of the "Lucille" posse as "underlings." (MyPoolBoy DID laugh at that one)

Here's what caused the biggest eyeroll of the morning:

It hit me that this song has a bit of a pedophilic aura about it, simply because of the way that Conway Twitty's voice sounds so old-mannish to me and his alcoholic psuedo-Elvis slur to his words is reminiscent of some old octogenarian who has left his dentures on the nightstand back at the home. If Conway was comin' at ya with the DT's it would almost look like he was palsied.

"Come here darlin, let me kiss you..." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weird

Well, the Bloggess had this sent to her from YouTube's recommendations. Let me tell you this: If you are under the influence of pharmaceuticals of ANY KIND - even Flintstone vitamins - this will freak you out.

At the very least, now I want to go see what MY recommendations are!

And here I was thinking that all those stupid little middle schoolers who want to do trick bike riding crap all the time had no career futures.

For Thunderduck

Thunderduck has threatened multiple times that he wants to be Mr. Paula Deen and will happily leave any woman he is involved with for Paula.

Best Man Speech

Freaky Best Man Speech

Watch all the way to the end... it seems like just a really funny speech until about 3/4 of the way through.

More from the Bobsled

The storyline makes the video a little long but the song is hilarious! At first I felt a little bad for laughing - but then I remembered that I am going to h3ll on a bobsled ANYWAY.

Oh Baby!

Video Parody of Matthew McConaughey

See more Joey Kern videos at Funny or Die

Copacabana! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I can't get over how much this guy sounds like the real deal!

Dear Rick

This is too funny!

"Not like the last 3 concerts...."
"Please call me"
BWAHAHAHA! I LOVE this chick!



See, all I did was send him a MySpace message asking him to design my trampstamp.

Hand Fart Jukebox

This guy is amazing -

Select your favorite tune!

Bohemian Rhapsody - by Queen
Baby, What'd I Say - by Ray Charles
Money - by Pink Floyd
I Feel Good - by James Brown
Yakety Sax - by Boots Randolph
William Tell Overture
Take On Me - by A-Ha
Flight of the Bumblebee
You Shook Me All Night Long - by AC/DC
Spanish Flea - by Tijuana Brass
Feels So Good - by Chuck Mangione
Sweet Child Of Mine - by Guns N Roses
Helter Skelter - by The Beatles
The Final Countdown - by Europe
Baby One More Time - by Britney Spears
Crazy Train - by Ozzy Osbourne
For Once in My Life - by Stevie Wonder
I Second That Emotion - by Smokey Robinson
Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)
Don't Stop Believing - by Journey
Theme from James Bond 007
Sleepwalk - by Santo and Johnny
Walk This Way - by Aerosmith
Stayin' Alive - by The Bee Gees
Rockit - by Herbie Hancock
Axel F - by Harold Faltermeyer
Start Me Up - by The Rolling Stones

and of course .... Too Much Time on My Hands - by Styx

Alas...

I have exactly NOT MUCH to blog about lately. MyPoolBoy and I have been out a few times and I have been inebriated to the point of hilarity, yet I either cannot remember what was so funny the night before to blog about it, or upon retrieving my state of sobriety the next a.m., I find that it really wasn't that funny anyway. (Except one of Thunderduck's friends from high school told me that he couldn't call me mom when I was standing across from him looking hot - the poor child must've remembered it the next week, cuz at poker he did not say 2 words to me and wouldn't look me in the face - MyPoolBoy and I were laughing pretty bad at that one!)

Banned Camp has been a little slow this week (with the exception of the PrisonBoard postings - "if you can't spell conjugal visit, you can't have one" and the chick whose Boo sent her his underwear from Death Row.

I can't even find anything good on YouTube because I am at least a LITTLE bit selective in my entertainment choices, and I do not consider breakdancing videos to be worthy of my viewing - fishing through the VideosBeingWatched and FeaturedVideos isn't turning up anything good, even.

Except this:


Points to consider:
A) obviously in a trailer
B) pole not secured correctly (probably had duct tape involved)
C) wearing the required wife-beater uniform
D) can't tell if she flips them the bird at the end or has up 2 fingers (as if she is counting herself out)
E) not me

Pop Video

This is quite possibly one of the most disturbing videos I've ever seen on YouTube - you have been warned.