Sunday, August 19, 2012

You Tee'd Me Off

Listening to a yuppy dude (in a UT t-shirt and UT flip-flops for Gawd's sake) try to explain to a yuppy chick where and what Billy Bob's is (because nothing screams "I"m a real cowboy" like UT t-shirts and UT flip-flops).  If he is having to explain it in THAT much detail she is apparently not from Texas.

 Sadly, he is not capable of telling the truth her due to his obvious impairment: Let's face it, a yuppy-in-a-UT-t-shirt-and-UT-flip-flops-for-Gawd's-sake is overkill evidence that you A) did not actually go to UT or B) are an alumni who was a transplant from another state because we all know that UT really doesn't have anybody from Texas that ACTUALLY goes there unless they are football players.
The truth that he failed to impart is this: Billy Bob's is a great place to go for Rick Springfield concerts and to watch bull riding if you know someone who is actually riding bulls that night. Otherwise, Billy Bob's is where the yuppy dudes in UT t-shirts and UT flip-flops for Gawd's sake hang out trying to be all Texan and shi+.

And if you go in there trying to act all Texan and shi+, us real Texans will sniff you out because you are the one who gets up to go line-dance in boots that are too expensive. In the process you invariably and stupidly will leave your margarita unattended, so we'll send our drunk-a$$ sister-in-law to put a booger in it.

 I've HEARD.