The White Trash Princess Blog
"You Can't Outdrink the Truth"
Sunday, July 10, 2022
New school year
Ok, so all the other teachers I know are completely jealous and hate me right now -- I have a self-contained class with only 18 really good kids -- only 4 are title and NO SpEd, NO Bilingual/ESL, NO GT, NO behavior problems -- I am modifying for NO ONE! They pretty much "get" everything. Also -- we only have to have 8 grades per 6 weeks this year instead of 12, so I feel like I am TEACHING instead of throwing paper at them to try to get grades!
I'm up this early because I have done something HORRIBLE to my neck and can hardly turn my head or stand upright. I think it happened Friday night (MyPoolBoy and I went to 6th Street with Felix and her husband). Great story, there about a cross-dresser -- maybe I'll have time later.
Anyhow -- my weight this a.m. was 168.5 (so I'm recording it as 169). I ordered the Body Clutter Menu Mailer from not even exercising yet, but I've already lost 4 pounds just from eating the recipes.
Got my laptop back, so maybe I can post more regularly again!
@
7:44 AM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
Sunday, June 20, 2021
when I'm four
Y'all. I just met Ellis at the beer garden of a local brewery. Ellis us a four year old badass. Here's how you can tell Ellis is a badass: she is wearing boys swim trunks, oversized rhinestone shades, flip flops and has TWO bandaids. Upon arrival, she abandoned her loser parents and walked around the stone border of every flower bed before approaching me to ask my name and introduce herself. She then ran to the empty stage of the beer garden and proceeded to dance to the music being piped in. Ellis is not dancing like no one is watching.... Ellis is dancing like EVERYONE is watching.
Ellis, in 17 years, I'm buying you a round.
@
1:35 PM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
KOVD Traffic Update
12:19 pm Street level view
@
12:19 PM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
KOVD Traffic Report
11:19 a.m. "KOVD" Mullet County traffic report on the 19s. Street on
northeast side of porch empty , a blue car spotted on street on south side of the porch.
@
11:19 AM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
Sunday, June 04, 2017
Fishing for Advice
Dear nonBaptist friends: what kind of rosaries does one have to recite to do penanace for murder because the man I am married to is mixing catfish stinkbait in the kitchen and we have people coming in.
P. S. It will be an "accident"
Please react with an appropriately surprised demeanor when you hear the news of his demise.
Please react with an appropriately surprised demeanor when you hear the news of his demise.
@
5:32 PM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
Friday, August 12, 2016
I Have Seen My Future
I saw my future in line at Walgreens (no, not Walmart...Walgreens) this afternoon.
Little old stooped over white haired lady in line in front of us with her cart and recyclable shopping bag lays 3 items on the checkout counter: rubbing alcohol, a container of salt, and Ben Gay.
IN her cart was a case of Dos Equis.
Ben Gay and beer, people.
@
8:16 PM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Wine Trail
Once again, under the hashtag of #OtherPeopleGoOnTripsIGoOnAdventures I have hit upon another one of those moments that makes MyPoolBoy so glad that he didn't marry someone boring.
We decided that we needed a bottle of our favorite winery's blackberry / blueberry wine. Alas, it was before the winery was open (because apparently civilized people don't start going to the winery before noon -- or they are going to "sell no wine before its time" or some bullsh1t).
That's ok, I think. The liquor store downtown opens at 10 and they have it. (Because white trash folks WILL go to the liquor store before noon.)
Alas, they were sold out. '
What to do, what to do?
Soooooo, I went to the winery website and found locations where it could be procured, and I tried to keep a straight face when I instructed MyPoolBoy that he needed to drive out to the deer processor.
Deer.
Processor.
I sent him in because HE would not look out of place in the deer processor shop. He opened the door and turned right back around and motioned for me to come in. Because while he does not look out of place IN the deer processor shop, he does seem out of place BUYING WINE at the deer processor shop. Y'all. We bought wine at the deer processor.
I am happy to report that as a result of our efforts, we successfully obtained not just one but THREE bottles of wine.
And a bag of jerky.
We decided that we needed a bottle of our favorite winery's blackberry / blueberry wine. Alas, it was before the winery was open (because apparently civilized people don't start going to the winery before noon -- or they are going to "sell no wine before its time" or some bullsh1t).
That's ok, I think. The liquor store downtown opens at 10 and they have it. (Because white trash folks WILL go to the liquor store before noon.)
Alas, they were sold out. '
What to do, what to do?
Soooooo, I went to the winery website and found locations where it could be procured, and I tried to keep a straight face when I instructed MyPoolBoy that he needed to drive out to the deer processor.
Deer.
Processor.
I sent him in because HE would not look out of place in the deer processor shop. He opened the door and turned right back around and motioned for me to come in. Because while he does not look out of place IN the deer processor shop, he does seem out of place BUYING WINE at the deer processor shop. Y'all. We bought wine at the deer processor.
I am happy to report that as a result of our efforts, we successfully obtained not just one but THREE bottles of wine.
And a bag of jerky.
@
11:30 AM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
Saturday, February 06, 2016
Old Hat
So. Yesterday we took our kids to the local museum (read: former school admin building full of random old crap that local families donated after they cleaned out their dead mother in laws storage building and couldn't even get Goodwill to take it - we have only donated Native American dance regalia, so definitely random but not technically old).
In the back room alcove there was a pink cowboy hat with rhinestones or some other bling crap on it. My students immediately came to get me and asked me if my family had donated it.
I replied to them that it was not mine.
And then instructed them that we could make it mine, if a few of them were willing to be a self-sacrifice and create a diversion by knocking over something expensive-looking so that I could grab it and make a run for it. Told the rest of them to save themselves and meet me back at the classroom.
No takers. I'm not so sure it was because they don't have a sense of teamwork but more because they do possess a healthy level of fear of whether I'm kidding or not.
@
10:55 AM
By
Her Royal Highness, Princess White Trash of Mullet County
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