Sunday, May 20, 2007

Pig Candy Recipe Amendment & Reggae

Just wanted you to know that the thick bacon does NOT work - it comes out floppy. We also decided that considering we are using local (Read: Cheap) bacon, it might help if we drain off the fat halfway through cooking so that it can crisp up better.

Some wild hair made me download and burn some reggae style songs onto a cd - it is very conducive to on-the-porch wine drinking. ...It has been titled "Porch Drunk-y"

Leaving for Florida on Friday - haven´t packed a Dayum thing!


I really should not laugh at this. It is cruel... BWAHAHAHAHAHAA! That is EXACTLY why it is funny:

Saturday, May 19, 2007

I Got Carded!

Buying beer at Walmart for DrunkenFelix.

So there, beeyotches!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Pig Candy

Ahhhh - adventures at Felix´s house have given rise to some ¨rules¨ for Pig Candy.
First of all, here is the recipe:
Bacon (several strips)
Brown Sugar (enough to coat strips of bacon)


1. Coat uncooked bacon in some dark brown sugar.
2. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
Recipe from The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook and Financial Planner, by Jill Conner Browne copyright Copyright 2003, Three Rivers Press publishing.

Now, due to my inebriated state after the required 20 minutes, the second batch of pig candy that we made last Friday night was done when the smoke alarm went off - literally. I burned the h3ll out of it. This gave rise to the first 2 rules of Pig Candy:

Rule 1) I am not allowed to make the second batch of Pig Candy (due to the aforementioned inebriated state that I will undoubtedly be in after 20 minutes of being at Felixś house)

Rule 2) If you arrive late to Felixś house, you will not get any Pig Candy (see the reasoning for Rule 1)

One of our sub friends was there with us Friday night and told me she had tried to make it but all the sugar came off and did not coat it so well. Our theory was that she had used a good quality of bacon that was too lean and did not have enough fat to hold the sugar in place. Well after reading the Marriott´s menu for Motherś Day Brunch and arriving at the conclusion that $45 was too much to pay for it considering that the salad bar had ¨local lettuce" -which we surmised to mean that it came from HEB - this past weekend we arrived at Rule 3:

Rule 3) To ensure quality Pig Candy, you must use ¨local bacon¨ (no expensive stuff! Go for the Hill Country Fare/HEB brand!)

Stress Relief

Got this in an email from my aunt.

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals.

The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work. You're smiling already.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Tarnnia's Granny - My New Idol!!!

I completely and totally have a new hero! Here is just a sample of some of Granny's antics -- I swear - I can imagine me and Felix being like this in about 40 years. I've been driving her nuts by talking like Granny - and that is SANS VODKA! Can't wait till I've got a few martinis in me and I start channeling Granny!