Monday, June 26, 2006

Snow Cones!

I am the proud owner of a lewd polar bear ice shaving snow cone machine that I have named Mr. Nasty Bear.

MyPoolBoy and I had made the SPQ recipe for Mambo Margaritas and had decided that alas we wish that we could make them frozen, but the beer and the 7-Up make it a dangerous undertaking to put the concoction in a blender. Then we remembered that QueenB had suggested using HER snowcone machine to make margaritas for the upcoming 4th of July celebration at her house and we decided to go find one of our own. Well, the kind she had was 30 dollars -- not gonna pay that -- then we saw one for 15 dollars but it had this little ice cube disk mold that you could ONLY use that shape of ice for it. SOOOO I was bummed. Then MyPoolBoy saw the polar bear box and commenced to making fun of the picture on the box -- the little guy has this stupid grin on his face as he nestles the shaved ice in a cone BETWEEN HIS LEGS! and spits the ice out his mouth! not to mention that you have to push a button on his butt to turn him on! (as I spew snow-cone-Coke just typing that last statement!)

Ok, I'm going to bed. Maybe I can get up and catch up on blogging tomorrow.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Waiting Waiting Waiting

Ok, first a SPQ report and then to the main story.
I am loving the idea of a "Pageant Party" - drink margaritas and shoot rubber darts at the tv when a pageant is on??? I'm there! Part of this stems from, as I told my step-sister when she was being a pain in the butt as we were preparing EVERYTHING for her to be the TIHA princess one year and she was doing nothing, "You need to straighten up and be thankful that your mom (my stepmom), and her friend and I are doing all this work for you. Your mom is stressed out to the max because you aren't doing crap that you are supposed to and now we have a deadline because you procrastinated -- I never got to be queen of JACK SHIT because no one cared enough about me to help me do it and here you have all these people working their butts off and you don't even appreciate it." Well, that made my stepmom cry even worse than she already was, but at least I got it out. In all honesty, I WAS the Halloween duchess in 1st grade (no tiara), and the Halloween queen in 7th grade (no tiara for that either, but someone in the family bought me one), and I was NOMINATED for Homecoming queen my senior year, but its just not the same unless there is a tiara, right? So the little Miss Whatevers piss me off enough to shoot darts at, just because they have someone that cared enough about them to pay for all their crap to get them to that point in the pageant. I suppose that's why I work so hard to take my boys to any sporting thing that they want or let them do acting or whatever activity they feel inclined toward. For guys, I guess that's the equivalent of a pageant.

Our neighbor stopped MyPoolBoy this morning as we were loading the car and asked if we had ever heard his dog barking because his next-door neighbor (some cranky old guy) had called the cops about 4-5 times even though he had bought the dog a shock collar and took it to the vet to see if there was anything wrong. MyPoolBoy and I both told him that we hadn't noticed anything excessive - dogs bark, including ours and our next-door neighbors (on both sides) and our neighbors behind us and across the street!

Well, we went to the track meet and then took a nap, and around 6ish my friend Felix (ex-partner, since I'm going to be self-contained next year) and her husband/ManSlave called to see if we wanted to go out to eat with them at a new restaurant. So we go and we had the absolute worst waiter in the entire free world (WWW - Worst Waiter in the World). Honestly, all I can figure is that the guy wanted to get fired to collect unemployment or something! We got seated and he showed up a minute or so later with menus and took our drink order, but we all decided what we wanted to order (including me - which is saying A LOT) before WWW showed back up with our drinks. Then he took our order and disappeared! MyPoolBoy got up and went to the little sideboard/bar area to refill everyone's tea glass - cuz this guy was NOWHERE. Well, WWW came back by to check on us a little after that and MyPoolBoy informed him that they needed more tea, but the urns on the sideboard were empty so he'd better go refill them! So, we get more tea and WWW comes back with Felix's salad and says that they are really busy in the kitchen and he's sorry it took so long for the food (salad) - right then the other waitress comes out with the food so here's Felix with a salad that she hasn't even had a chance to pour dressing on, yet and the food arrives! Sheepishly WWW says, "Let me go get you some red sauce & tartar sauce for your fish." And disappears like David Freakin' Copperfield. Well, we start eating and are about halfway through when MyPoolBoy realizes that we don't have the sauce yet. So he excuses himself to go to the restroom and passes WWW talking to the cute little hostess on the way past the entrance and reminds him that we don't have any red sauce - probably not as nicely as I would have because MyPoolBoy can be pretty crass, but tonight I didn't care cuz this guy was awful. Just a little after MyPoolBoy got back from the restroom, WWW brings the sauce, but The Manager comes over right after him and starts offering us complimentary desserts and filling our tea glasses like the world would end if they got below a certain level. Ok, so we got WWW in trouble... it was pretty funny. A while later, WWW brings the check and MyPoolBoy pays it with cash. And dumbass WWW asks if he wants him to bring him change -- we all just looked at each other and MyPoolBoy politely told him yes -- but we all were thinking - Uh, yeah -- no way you're getting a 30 dollar tip, WWW! So we get our change and Felix's ManSlave and MyPoolBoy are settling their end of the check and we are finishing our tea and MyPoolBoy starts fumbling for tip money. He pulls out a bunch of ones and I said "hey, I've got a five or a ten in here if you want that" and MyPoolBoy says - "no, I'm looking to see if I have anything smaller than a one!"

Rip snorting hilarious, that one was!

Afterwards we came over here to drink a bottle of wine and fire up the chiminera. Lo and behold Neighbor Dog from this morning began to bark. After a while, Cranky Old Guy flips on his back porch light and blows an AIR HORN. Oh yeah, that'll shut him up.

Yesterday's Meet Results

Just so I can remember for scrapbooking purposes and in case anyone reading this is interested:

Lurch (bless his heart) missed qualifying by one spot in javelin with a throw of 72'4" (11th place)

We had a minor crisis because we didn't have our paychecks yet so we had to leave too late for Chunk to do long jump (but I'm glad we didn't have to sit through that!) I think they call it the long jump during summer track because so many kids do it that it takes a LONG time to finish!

TrainWreck got 5th in javelin with 113' (a PR) and then got 5th in long jump with a 21' even. That turned out to be a REAL LONG time because they had to wait on 2 guys to finish the 100m to do the first round before they could jump the finals. Well, one guy pulled a hamstring and only jumped once and then the other one scratched his first attempt, only jumped 18-something on his second attempt and so he quit. I'm sitting there like, you know, if you walk over here and you know that you can't jump 20 feet to qualify, don't waste our time! Arrogant of me? Oh well.

MyPoolBoy smoked ribs last night in his father's day gift. We are going to have them for lunch a la dashboard (wrap in foil and let the heat of the sun warm them up).

OK, one minute until we have to get everyone up and outta here. Hopefully we will be home early enough today that I can do another SPQ chapter and an update.

Friday, June 23, 2006


Ok, so I'm reading ch 4 of SPQ and the title is "Be Prepared." This is something I've done since my days as a Boy Scout mom -- to the point that I am notorious for having whatever you need when you need it-- including the astroturf that another teacher needed for a display at school 2 years ago. "Sure," I said, "let me go to my car." "No, no," she retorted, "don't drive back home." "Ummmmmm, no," I continued, "it is in my car right now!" That episode only served to further the rumor that I have EVERYTHING. I also managed to find fishnet stockings, a black mini-dress, and blue eyeshadow for a Christmas party prank a few years back -- it was then that my wardrobe became legendary. I have checklists for packing, checklists for the car maintenance (though it never gets done), checklists for holiday decorating -- you get the idea?

Anyway, I am especially prepared at track meets. I have a list online that I print and follow to pack for each meet. I have a designated bag that is embroidered with my name in pink (a gift from a former student). The first aid kit that I tote in the bag to each meet even has a checklist printed and laminated in plastic tucked inside it so that I can make sure I don't forget anything. And then I forget anyway.

Ok, so the SPQ idea of being prepared is first of always shave your legs -- ok, ummm, they need a waxing but I left my last container of wax in the 100plusdegrees heat of Texas in the back seat of the Durango and MyPoolBoy is actually more aggravated than amused by this little catastrophe. BUT I intend to do it this next week after payday.

Rule 2: always wear pretty underwear...HA! I wish! I did recently buy a bra for our reunion that I LOVE -- unfortunately women's underwear doesn't come 10 for a dollar in a huge package like men's, so that, too is low on my list. I think I'll do a new month's resolution to try to start replacing all my old stuff with new.

Rule 3: I will definitely have to ignore this rule -- never wear panties to a party. I don't care about panty lines - I really don't.

We discussed another step at R-Bar Tuesday night - we probably should get some of those hair-comb tiaras ( to keep in our purses so that we will always be prepared to "Lucille Up" (something like cowboy up only no pain needs to precede the expression). K (I really must come up with a name for her on here - ummm BagLady) also said that we should make sure that we go buy some skank-wear to go clubbing one night while we are at the coast. I agree -- and feather boas!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Back from SA meet

Long day, a little sunburned.

This goes in the category of "NO you may not let your brother cut your hair!"
Thank goodness it is not one of my kids - yet.

Anyway I had put some chicken in the crockpot before we left this morning at 7AM (the boys had to be on the bus at 5AM!) and I managed to shred it and put it in with some peas and carrots and make chicken & dumplings for dinner MMMMMMMMM! We had to go get TrainWreck's friend, Hercules, because he and TrainWreck have been hanging out with their friends and spending the nights at their friends' houses and not getting up in time to go to practice - and oops! - "I didn't know we had a meet today."

MyPoolBoy actually behaved himself fairly well and only got pissy and yelled once but then caught himself.

Lurch DNQd on the high jump but he was over the bar at 5' and just knocked it with his elbow -- I was so proud of him for being a lineman willing to try the high jump! He also got 11th (needed to be 10th to qualify) by pressing 91'8" on discuss -- but he's done over 100 before -- he just had an off day. Oh well he still has javelin and shot and the mile!

TrainWreck got 5th in high jump at 5'8" (which is not his PR but he was squirreling around being a goof). Also TrainWreck got $1200 more in grants today, so his total in grants and scholarships for next year is now at $3600. He will just barely have to dip into his Texas Tomorrow stuff -- which will be a nice jumpstart for him for his soph. year.

Chunk got 7th in high jump at 3' -- last place, but its within 10 places so he goes to regionals - not bad for a little chubby boy!

We are wanting to build a little bar of sorts for the patio out in the back yard with the old piano we have out there. It dawned on me tonight that my brother, ShallowHal, has a big tub of old bathroom tile that was GOING to be part of the remodel that the people that they bought their house from had left behind. We are going to meet them in San Angelo and bring their boys home with us next week -- I think I will see if they have thrown out the tile yet -- if not, I'm calling dibs on it for the bartop!

Finally cleaned the catbox tonight. I'm so freakin' tired though and Chunk wants to burn a cd so I guess I'd better go. Might get on and do a little more SPQ commentary later.

Champagne taste on a Bud Light budget

The SPQs are supposed to "BE PARTICULAR." I have kinda decided that between FlyLady and my own experience of being a female outnumbered by males all my life that I have not only earned this right, but have also honed it to an art. I have enough patience or foresight or whatever to know what I want and be willing to wait for EXACTLY that or at least a reasonable substitute. (Unlike SOME husband that I know!) I.E., my bedspread. A few years ago, I found a bedspread that I just adored: a big ole Texas flag -- unfortunately it was a little out of our price range. SO that brings me to my other point -- my personal motto is "never pay retail." MyPoolBoy kept wanting to buy it and I was determined to wait it out and see if it went on sale or at least wait until we could better afford it. Well, it never went on sale - in fact all that line of bedspreads just disappeared from the shelves one day. One day, meaning well, I'm sure, MyPoolBoy found a spread that had Texas flags all over it - kinda cheesey patchwork printed - and it was made of T-shirt cotton material. Bless his heart, I know he meant well but it was not what I WANTED. (that's all that really matters, right?) Fast forward 1 or 2 years and the same store has a revival of the bedspreads! This time they were on sale and they had ONE left that fit our bed! MyPoolBoy was with me and I lingered and lingered by them until he KNEW what I was thinking... I couldn't pass up getting exactly what I wanted because at this point I was planning on buying material and making the darn flag myself - cuz the spread MyPoolBoy bought was U.G.L.Y.

Of course, this side of me does have its drawbacks: it is one reason why my house is not finished -- the other reason being that MyPoolBoy will not DO ANYTHING to help!

Track meet today - had to take the kids to get on the bus at 5 AM. Gotta go pack lunch and ice chests!

Emergency dieting starts today - this is the code blue of all-time weigh-ins.
Heaven help me.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

My new cd case

Court stuff over -- all has been dismissed.
Meanwhile, I've been compiling the greatest hits of Rick Springfield on a cd for our trip to the coast (and for my own personal drool-ertainment). I came up with this design for the case. The kids are thrilled.

The Promise

This totally cracks me up! The trick is, the promise is just that - no more - it is not even remotely intended to be followed-upon, but the shock value itself is enough to leave a man speechless.

The SPQs promise someone that they need a favor from (male) that the WHOLE group of them will give him a BJ!

I was reading this last night at the bar to OutOfPocket, and I had to explain "shooting fish in a barrel" to her! Here's how I explained it: I had her close her eyes for some imagery and picture a lot of fish, goldfish, carp, pirhanas, whatever and that those fish were in a barrel swimming around. Then I said "pick up your 12 gauge" and BLAM! now how easy was that?

I sat and thought about stuff this afternoon -- I heard from Felix that our AP told the other 3rd grade l/a teacher that she was going to put the l/a teacher's son in her own room because she didn't think OutOfPocket had the right skills/experience or whatever to teach 3rd grade reading. Humph! I guess that means that our AP doesn't trust me to teach the boy, either! I was thinking about giving OutOfPocket my look-up-language because I imagine the level of skills that the kids come to us with is going to be quite a shocker for her!

SPQ - the look

I loved HRH's theory on tanning - except for the skin cancer issue, are your really thinking you will look 23 when you are 65?

She follows a schedule of getting the 10-4 sun prime hours, with little 1 hour breaks for lunch, a nap under the umbrellas and then showering and taking a nap until its time to go out for dinner!

I know that I probably need to be donning my Gidget/Annette Funicello /Barbie-When-She-Still-Had-Dark-Hair swimsuit and working on my tan lines for my get-away in 2 weeks. My theory is that this bathing suit is SO UGLY that it won't matter what my body looks like because the hideousness of the suit will detract from whatever flaws my bod has!

Today we have to go to my friend N's house and move some boxes for her and we are getting a free hot tub out of the deal! She is selling her house and the old geezers who bought it don't want the hot tub, so she told us that if we help her move and help her take out the hot tub, that we can have it!

And - my boss called me to officially tell me that I will be teaching self-contained next year. Then I got the unsolicited low-down that the gossip about the new 4th grade teacher being a friend of the central office staff is not true.

Got quite a bit done today, gathered up all the boys' stuff for court, scanned and uploaded pictures for the track website -- just no housework!

Mullet-boy meets the Lucilles and gets "Lucilled"

I introduced SPQ to some of the Lucilles last night at R-Bar. MyPoolBoy went because he made the finals of the poker tournament. I read a few excerpts and they hooted and hollered and made a fuss over who was going to read it next. We got a good discussion about how we were going to accommodate taking the Lucilles to the next level to elevate us to where we were smack in the middle of SPQdom and we decided that we will be needing our tiaras for the Port Aransas trip AND we simply must go shopping for skank-wear for one night of clubbing on our trip. Felix & BagLady are going swimsuit shopping on Thursday I think, but I already have my fabulous Annette Funicello/50's Barbie when She Still Had Black Hair bathing suit that my stepmom and I found at a vintage store.

Well, we were sitting there and generally small-talking and we got into a mullet discussion (MyPoolBoy was out of the tournament at this point, but he had gone to sit down with some of the coaches at another table). So we were pointing out to BagLady, who had no clue what a mullet was, that her boyfriend H, had a mullet -- I was describing a mullet that Thunderduck had seen where the guy had the "party" in the back and the front "business" was a bowl-cut, Moe-Stooge-style -- Thunderduck called it a "Bowl-let". Ok - so I digressed -- anyway the other mullet-sporting soul in the bar was this guy who in weeks past had a wind-blown type style (if you could call it style) that we always chalked up to inebriation/carelessness/apathy/bad genes. BUT - tonight he had gone all out (or at least made a minimal effort) and COMBED IT. And it was a mullet -- Lo and behold he came over to us and introduced himself and starts hitting on BagLady (we think -- he was really talking to all of us). Anyhoo --- he asks us all our names and BagLady and Felix told him their real names but I told him my name was Tammy! I was really in an SPQ mood. Well, drunkenly we start laughing and he catches on - smart little bugger - and says that's not your real name. So I said, "No, my real name is Lucy - or Lucille - but I hate it." Everyone kept a straight face - and he went for it. SO now I think that Lucille can be used as a verb. (As in, he was Lucilled - or BSd, as it were - by a Lucillle/SPQ) About that time MyPoolBoy saw what was happening and came and "rescued" us by sitting by BagLady in the booth so that mullet-boy would leave us alone.

I also used the word 'debaucherous' in our conversation last night and everyone came unglued. Sometimes my vocabulary just rears its ugly head in the strangest situations.

AND - we looked at the SPQ chapter on the 5 men you must have to see if our guys had more than one quality. We decided MyPoolBoy has 2 out of 5 -- dancing and sex because he can't/won't fix stuff, I definitely can't talk to him, and although he goes to the checkout to pay for stuff, we are basically broke and right now I am the major bread-winner --- he's a kept man!

After a bit we noticed our waitress was awol and we all needed another round. I started tapping dots and dashes out on the table with my empty Smirnoff Ice bottle - to everyone's glee that it wasn't THEM making a big noisy scene - and got AWOL's attention. I told her that it was my new code -- S's Outta Smirnoff -- SOS -- see, she'd been Lucilled also!

Alas, when we got home and I was putting on my pajama pants I got my foot hung in the crotch part of the pants because they are loose -- the left foot -- the sprained ankle -- and I fell -- not only did I re-hurt my ankle trying to catch myself as I fell, but I also skinned by knee because I basically tripped over my pj pants. What a klutz.

Anyway -- today is going to be a bit stressful - the boys have court and MyPoolBoy has a biology paper due. And I still need to clean house because my nephews are coming next week! Oh and I have to scan and upload some pictures for the track team to the website - so I'm gonna have to move the scanner into here and hook it up! I'll get on later and do my chapter review for SPQs Book of Love.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Sweet Potato Queens / Lucilles

Oh lord, have I ever found my psychic twin! After reading a couple of southern humor books from the library I discovered one called "The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love" by Jill Conner Browne. I now know that I am not the only tiara-coveting, cat-eye-rhinetone-sunglasses-sporting, prom-dress-at-a-meeting-wearing, silly-drunk-and-too-loud-with-all-your-girlfriends woman out there. In fact, this book actually came out in 1999 (the year I graduated college) -- so I had been the "Technology Princess" for a couple of years, thus proving that my twin was out there writing a book and living here in TheSticks I never even knew it! So, I read through the book and I thought she had been spying on me and my friends (the Lucilles) because, by golly, no one can get bawdy and debaucherous the way we can! Anyway -- I really have resolved that I am not going to let MyPoolBoy get me down any longer. In fact, I confronted him today and told him that he was too negative and it was getting to me. He actually listened and apologized -- we'll see..... Ok, so here's the deal: I am going to write the quotes from the book that struck a chord in me the most so that I can review them every so often. I also need to get ahold of my own copy of the book as well as the sequels. There's even some CDs by Kacey Jones that have songs like "Never Wear Panties to a Party" and "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly". I had to laugh really hard. I've set up links on my Yahoo Bookmarks and will probably post them here somewhere.

Ok - so in the intro I really laughed at or related to:
1 The fact that she declared herself queen (like I declared myself the Princess)

2 The instance where they bought ball gowns at Goodwill and wore them in the parade (me and some of the Lucilles wore prom dresses to a faculty meeting right before homecoming one year, complete with tiaras and toilet-paper sashes emblazoned with slogans like "ARD Queen" "Technology Princess", etc.)

3 The quote from Delta Burke/Suzanne Sugarbaker in "Designing Women": "There's just nothing better in life than to ride around on the back of a convertible with a crown on your head." And Browne follows it with "Words to live by." Well said.

4 Her spiel on the Miss America pageant and that the scholarship part is crap. She acknowledges that everyone just wants that crown - "Call the thing a beauty pageant, and be done with it."

5 I can do "the wave" too!

6 Laughed at the chunking of sweet potatoes from the float and the story of her softball champ friend being a little too zealous at her chunking. (My Lucille friend MrsRodney fits this description!)

7 Browne acknowledges that many of women's day to day activities and organizations are thankless.

8 The only reason she was never a Golden Girl of Alcorn State was that she was not born black. "It's a bitch, but there you are." Adding that "Brown fat just does not look as bad as white fat." And then goes on to compare it to a pork chop: when raw and white it is globby and unappealing, fried it is brown and golden -- I need to tan, see?

9 The discussion about Real Live Majorette Boots had me hooting. First of all, I had majorette boots - not the kind the SPQs wear, but I was a majorette, so there you go. BUT Her Royal Highness's advice for those who did not is good advice for anything in life (and why I think I started wearing tiaras in the first place). Pretty much she chides you that if you grew up wishing that you had a pair of those boots to dress up in as a child you shouldn't whine over it NOW: "Hell, you're full- grown now. If you don't have Real Live Majorette Boots at this stage in your life, it's our own g*d* fault. Quit whining about it and go get some!"

10 Calling the kids "Tater Tots" was pretty funny. My friend Tammy (her REAL name, not her SPQ name) in high school and I called each other taters. When we graduated and got married and had kids we called them "Tater Tots!"

11 Their hangout, Hal & Mal's is a must-see for me the next time I am in the vicinity -- I am dying to see the Elvis shrine in the men's room! I figure H&M must be their version of the R-Bar -- I wonder if they've ever been locked in?

SO I have decided that the Lucilles are SPQs of a sort (and my stepmother is an honorary Lucille -- she personally bought me my high-heel acrylic hooker-looking "Bingo" shoes). There is a place on the SPQ website to start your own chapter. We would definitely qualify.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Dumbo's Mother & giftedness

. and my ankle still hurts
So I'm all emotional and crying and stuff (or in my case, NOT crying, cuz I have to always be so tough or it pisses a certain someone off).

Anyway, I was sitting outside reading and listening to the radio and someone requested the song "Baby Mine" by Bette Midler from the movie "Beaches." Well, I went along reading and then as I listened I realized it was the song from "Dumbo" when his mom gets locked up and he goes to see her and my heart just tightened and broke right then and there imagining the cartoon images in my mind. I started to remember that when I cried at movies as a child or teenager it was always scenes like this -- Bambi's mother dying did not get me as bad as Bambi calling out her name over and over. They tell me that I cried at the end of "Frosty the Snowman" because Frosty left the kids. Today, I get really upset watching cop shows and unsolved crime shows that involve kids. It just now really hit me that I have always had a very strong maternal instinct, I guess... or a really strong emotional bond with kids that are abandoned or hurt. There's nothing wrong with that, really, it just never really was as clear to me as it was last night and this morning.

Now, as an adult the same kind of scenes will make me tear up, but the last movie that I really cried at was "Shine." Hard to explain unless you know the movie and see the scene I'm referring to, but I'll try. This guy is a piano genius and gets exploited, more or less. As he grows older he starts to lose it and turns into a bum, pretty much. A woman finds him and realizes who he is and tries to introduce him back into society and having him come along with her to play piano at her parties, etc. She realizes that the piano is his escape and joy. However, he is still not mentally all there and the scene that got me was when he was mingling at one of the parties, he started to babble a little and someone mentioned the planets or the solar system and he immediately started rattling off the names of the planets and facts about them. Almost RainMan-like. It upset me so much I started to cry. Seems pretty dumb on the surface, but I realized why almost immediately -- that is the kind of thing that happens to ME in my brain when people are talking or I am reading or watching tv -- I make all these connections to facts that I know in my brain and then I can't just enjoy the conversation or the book or the show or whatever. In the movie he was deemed a little crazy because he just let those thoughts blurt right on out -- I hold them in, and I imagine all the GT kids that are truly at that level of giftedness do too. It boils down to a burden of self-censoring. What "average" people don't get is that the torture of giftedness is not that we are "smarter" than everyone else, but that we have to constantly hold in so many random thoughts on details that probably are insignificant to other people just to conform to society's norms!

And on top of that I have to hold in my emotions.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Captain Pessimist

Ok, so here it is 4:45 and it has not rained since I finished my blogging this morning. Seems that MyPoolBoy is Captain Pessimist and managed to single-handedly derail the track meet for the entire PeytonPlace Track team! His conversations with other parents and the coach convinced them that it was freakin' doomsday thunderstorms predicted for all day today here and out of town-- what can I say but BS!
Just further proves how negative he is!

Rain/Track Meet cancelled

So we are all up at 7 am and it starts to rain nonstop and it is headed toward the town where the track meet was scheduled. We called the coach and they are bringing the bus back because it doesn't look like it is going to stop today.

MyPoolBoy made a 40 on his statistics final -- hmmmm funny how that happens when you don't bother to do the last 5 chapters until 13 hours before the test. He had the nerve to call me when it was over and say "if you had started helping me sooner, maybe I could have passed it" Ummmm -- who already HAS a college degree? This is not MY class! I give up.

Finished another book from the library - that makes 3 in 2 days. So far I've read "Theodora's Diary" (cute -- supposedly there is a sequel called "Theodora's Wedding") and I read "Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing" (which really had nothing to do with hunting and fishing, but as near as I could figure they were hunting and fishing for men). The one I just finished was "Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man" by Fannie Flagg (I remember here being on Match Game back in the 70s when I was little -- I heard she also wrote "Fried Green Tomatoes") I still have 2 more, but I am going to have to get me a reading list on my Palm so I can do an interlibrary loan or something to get the books I want to really read.

Got this picture concerning the Bird Flu hitting Floriday from my step-dad. I've seen it before, but this time I wrote a pretty good response:

"This is not even remotely funny. How dare you make light of a situation that is so serious? I am personally distraught over the senseless inhumanity! To think that these poor creatures have been subjected to an incredibly horrific demise! Not to mention their habitat -- somewhere there is a trailer park without its charm - without its bright colors to greet you -- without its joy. Shame on you, you middle-classer! I am going to fly my Dale Earnhardt flag at half-mast on the CB antenna on my truck on blocks in my yard. I'm have to go find a clean mason jar -- I need a drink of Boone's to take the edge off this situation!"

Man, I love those pink plastic lawn flamingos!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Me vs. MyPoolBoy -- this is scary


You Are 12% Sociopath

You're empathetic, loyal, and introspective.
In other words, there's no way you're a sociopath... but you can spot one pretty easily!
Are You A Sociopath?


You Are 52% Sociopath

You're not a sociopath, but you're very prone to antisocial behavior.
Other people's opinions matter little to you. You live your own fringe life - for better or worse.

A commentator & a nag/rag about impatience

Someone actually read my blog... I practically never click on "Moderate Comments" but I decided to check (cuz I usually have spam stuff in there) and someone had left a comment back in the middle of May. So now I have a kind of odd feeling that I may come across as a real "B" or nag, but I have talked myself into remembering that this is my outlet for all the stuff that I can't say out loud -- hence the title of my blog.

Ok, so on to my gripe for the day -- I twisted my ankle Tuesday at the track while helping the kids move the high jump pit mats. I was carrying the back and couldn't see where I was going, and I stepped off the track and my foot went totally under me and my ankle twisted. It is swollen as all get-out. Anyhoo -- You would think that I would get to rest and stay off of it right? Oh H3LL NO. Tuesday night, MyPoolBoy is about to have a caboodle of kittens cuz he wants to go play in the poker tournament at our hangout....ok, I agreed, I can ice my ankle and prop it up and be fine -- but without asking me he invited Felix over to have brisket that he cooked in the smoker (found it at a thrift store for 9 bucks -- cheap father's day gift!). So I am frantically limping around with l trying to get the house straightened up and clean the back porch/yard -- of course he had class from 1 - 5 and she was coming over at 5:30 so guess who was doing this? Just another example of him not putting me before ANYONE else. Ya know? How about a phone call to ME before inviting someone over to just say, hey, how is your ankle? Do you feel up to company? (NO)
Well, today it is still swollen and hurts a little, but not as stiff, but I didn't stay at the track with the kids this morning. AND MyPoolBoy is still in bed asleep even though he has 27 hours to finish 5 chapters of statistics and take a final. He is a horrible procrastinator when it comes to school work -- and I hate being on the brunt end of his wrath when things don't go smoothly (well, duh, don't wait till the last minute).
I also have decided that yes, he is a bit of a spoiled brat.... He got pretty much everything when he was growing up and he has A) no patience to wait and save to get the things he wants, B) no desire to take a cheaper or used model of something, and C) no patience to get something LATER -- it all needs to be now -- well guess what honey -- all your buds that are getting their feet on the ground and getting to play golf and have nice houses probably didn't have 2 arrests for not paying their bills because they lied to their wife and I bet they haven't had to wrangle financing on their home that they "forgot" to pay (for 6 months) and almost lose their house because they lied to their wife about that, too. He puts on such airs/pretenses and it pisses me off -- he acts like we are freaking rich and buys "toys" that just sit in the yard and rust after he uses them once -- I couldn't even tell you how many Dremels we have. He talks a good game though -- He goes on and on about all he is going to do to fix up the house (that still has concrete floors after 10 years!) but all he does is talk -- Granted right now he is going to school, but ya know what? I have a hard time buying that excuse when he is LAYING IN BED ASLEEP AND HE HAS 5 CHAPTERS TO DO IN ONE DAY BECAUSE HE HAS PUT IT OFF FOR WEEKS!

Impatient is definitely the A #1 word I would use to describe him. He is miffed at MonsterInLaw right now because he wants the little bass boat that his dad had (since his dad died, no one is using it). Well, MonsterInLaw told him yesterday that she might just sell it because she doesn't think that we can afford the insurance and the tags -- well that made MyPoolBoy mad, but good cow, I can't even get him to put the tags on my car. Now his car was always fine, but let me just drive around waiting for a ticket -- he seems to have no clue how much of a nervous wreck it makes me to get behind the wheel -- at one point I had no left turn signal and a brake light out and no insurance and the tags out (still are) and it is not inspected. Ok, he got pulled over in his suburban and got a ticket for the insurance, so now we have insurance (woulda been cheaper just to get the insurance in the first place, duh) He fixed the turn signal cuz MonsterInLaw finally griped at him enough -- apparently my griping doesn't count -- and he sold his suburban, but do you think he will go spend $35 on the tags that have been out for 17 months (yes, over a year!!!!!) NO, but he'll go spend $15 on ice cream with the boys even though we have ice cream in the freezer. Anyway, back to the original point -- MonsterInLaw is right, and I'm not taking his side in the whole boat thing -- if he can't take care of the car and the house and the trailer (that we still don't even have a TITLE paid for yet) then does he really think that we can expect him to take care of a boat, too?

Good, lord, our lives are a mess! All I want is to be a respectable RESPONSIBLE citizen and I am married to this brat-child. If someone gave us a million dollars tomorrow to take care of our financial obligations, you can bet that MyPoolBoy would find some way to NOT pay anything and use all the money to PLAY.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Back from the Reunion

Well, I will have to say that there is nothing like control top underwear to make you look like you aren't as fat as you really are! I was able to wear a denim tank dress to the reunion and not look half bad -- in fact everyone told me that I was one of the only people that they recognized without having to look at the name badge! We ended up going to the Friday night mixer because MyPoolBoy's class (cross-town rival school) had their location double-booked and so the reunion committees decided to combine the two at our location. It really was great for us so that we didn't have to choose between the two. We just skipped the Saturday events so that we didn't have to go our separate ways.

MyPoolBoy went to the golf tournament on Friday afternoon before the mixer (my dad was REALLY wanting us to come down, so he sent us gas money to make us "decide"). We used what we would have saved in gas $ to pay for MyPoolBoy's golf tournament. Well I bet their class will never be in the tournament again because they:
Backed over a fence with a golf cart
Accidentally hit a goose in one of the ponds with a golf ball and seriously hurt it
Had like 10 players at a hole at once

I will have to say that the whole thing was a good time for MyPoolBoy, though because he got paired with people from HS that he NEVER hung out with in HS (mostly because his friends were all too shy and introverted to hang out with this crew!) But MyPoolBoy got to come off being a hero because he is so used to playing these phenomenal courses around here that the course they were on was easy for him so he shot 11 under par. His team tied for first in the tournament. Not only that but he said that he is one of the only ones who has not gained a lot of weight, so he felt pretty good about how he looked. So when we got to the reunion mixer, he was in really good spirits and feeling good about himself...TRANSLATION: I got to enjoy a nice evening without any drama! And some of his golf partners told me that all he could talk about for the first hour or so on the golf course was me.... sometimes he does stuff that is so nice.

SOOOOO At midnight they started closing the place down and a bunch of people from MyPoolBoy's school that I had gone to elementary with were going over to one guy's house to continue the festivities -- and MyPoolBoy ACTUALLY WANTED TO GO! For 3 hours! 3 am may seem like a wild night, but we were some of the first people to leave -- who KNOWS how long everyone else stayed. I had to laugh because they were still 18-year-old jocks just in older bodies! MyPoolBoy and I stayed in the kitchen and talked for about an hour and we heard everyone yelling that one of the guys had stripped to his underwear and we all should come see --- we're thinking yeah, right... Well when one of their other friends finally showed up they come get him in the living room and pull him out to the back yard and sure enough -- he was out there in his undies shoving people into the pool!

Anyway we still did ok since we paid the at-the-door price for just the mixer through HIS school we saved $10 a person... I don't know why ours was so different. Also - got a $10 reimbursement check in the mail from a seminar that I attended about a YEAR ago. Good timing. We also sold MyPoolBoy's suburban and we are just toughing it on one car until we can get down to his mother's to pick up the truck that his dad left him. So we have payments coming in from this guy that MyPoolBoy sold the suburban to about every 2 weeks. AND they staggered MyPoolBoy's sub pay from the last of the year so he still will get a small paycheck at the end of June. Also - MyPoolBoy's mom told him that if he and the boys can come and do some roofing and other stuff for her sometime this summer that she will pay them what she would have paid the roofers and the workers. So that will help with July. All we have to worry about is August, but luckily, we will only have 2 kids at home this year....hopefully we can start managing a little better.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Q & A for a Healthy Life (LMAO)

At Last! Some dieting advice I want to hear!

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a kabob is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. What do body builders do to get those enormous muscles??! You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans . another vegetable!!!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Chardonnay in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming: WOO HOO! What a Ride!"

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tight and tiring

Well, school is out and MyPoolBoy does not have any employment, so things are tight financially. He sold his suburban and has pawned some stuff and he IS going to get another sub check at the end of June, BUT I am so tired of him lying to people about stuff.

MonsterInLaw was on the phone with him tonight, telling him that ANOTHER one of his great-aunts was doing poorly health-wise (probably about to die) and he told her that we would be out of pocket all weekend but that we would have our cell phones -- then he told her that there was a track meet in Giddings on Saturday and that all the boys were going (Chunk is going with us) -- he completely left out that we were going to our class reunion in Odessa -- I guess because he doesn't want her to know that he is spending any money doing anything but going to school.

Also, he told me he needs to get a Father's Day card to send to her to put on his dad's grave because he thinks she'll gripe about him not doing it -- or else send flowers. I totally don't understand the guilt trip behind this at all -- "your father died, but I still expect you to go and spend money on flowers or a card so that I can go put it on the grave"

That's messed up, huh?

I am at the absolute fattest (not overweight - FAT) that I have ever been - embarrassing -- just in time to be a lot more than I weighed in high school to go to my 20th class reunion. I'm thrilled.