Sunday, November 27, 2005

Empty Well

or blood from a turnip -- however you look at it, I'm drained emotionally.

First of all, we lost our files on our website so all work done since last year is flat-out GONE. Then today I get an email saying that our domain name has been sold off to someone else. So there goes my identity on the web.

Anyway, I tried my hardest this week during the holiday to do some stuff around the house and to get ME some ME time (scrapbooking, etc.). I did get SOME stuff done and feel like I got to unwind a little bit, but after having 12 teenagers take over the house Thursday night and leaving stuff lying around I felt back at square one yesterday and I spent yesterday morning and this morning catching up on dishes and laundry and picking up the living room and dining room.

Right when I'd get on a roll, MyPoolBoy would come in and "hint" that it was time for lunch or dinner and I'd have to drop what I was doing and cook a meal. (not to leave out the morning when he asked me if I was hungry for breakfast -- TRANSLATION: he wanted breakfast and I had to get out of bed and cook breakfast while he laid there and watched tv).

Then tonight MyPoolBoy gets all pissed because he doesn't have as many credits as we thought he did due to some problem with his govt class at OC and the one at CTC. Of course, I am blamed because I am the whole reason he took the CTC class, etc. etc. etc. I completely lost it. I just got in the car and drove off and parked and cried for about 30 minutes solid. They have no idea (especially MyPoolBoy) how much they are taking out of me. I jumped on MyPoolBoy when I got back because I am so tired of being his effin' cheerleader all the damn time. He wants constant success and constant reassurance and I just can't do it is wearing me out. I told him since I had stayed up multiple nights typing his research papers while he SLEPT that I would at least appreciate a thank you or something. SOOOOO I've been exhausted working, dealing with his school, trying to keep up the house so that he doesn't have anything to worry about except college and he gets all pissy and does the whole typical overreaction thing that he is going to quit school -- it is just causing me more stress. CRIPES that sends me over the deep's getting really old. More drama than any girl I know. The constant overreaction is so STUPID just STUPID he makes a total a$$ of himself.

Not to mention that I still have to get TrainWreck's stuff lined out for a website (that MyPoolBoy let lapse into nonexistence) to start getting track coaches to come look at him...poor Lurch and Chunk are getting completely ignored, or so I what do I do? I bend over backwards to pay attention to them and get sidetracked from what I want and need to do and end up feeling guilty and stressed even worse.

You can't get water from an empty well -- I really need to be filled back up spiritually and emotionally. No wonder my blood pressure is ridiculously high. I'm just waiting to die or at least end up in the hospital so I can rest. They have no clue how bad it is.....and I think if they do, they just don't care because it would be too much effort to do something that mom will do later if you just let it sit long enough (including school & paperwork).
Must be nice to be an oblivious male a$$hole.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Office decor and Yahoo blog

First of all .
and bp was 130/80-something this past week
and weight is at 158# (dammit)

Went to Wally world and got some Mary Engelbreit material on sale in the remnant bin and I am going to cover the desk and my treadmill shelf and the office chair with it and put clear vinyl over the desk to keep it clean. Saw the librarian at the other Elem. had done this and it was very cute. Got some black/white check to do a valance on the window and some smaller check to cover the bulletin board and the stool. It ties the whole room together. I am going to go ahead and paint all the walls a lighter color yellow than is in there right now, but it already looks cute just draping the cloth over everything.
MyPoolBoy finished his science class last week, his last history paper today, and got the notes for his algebra final tonight at class. He is almost done with a whole semester! Next he starts speech during Christmas break and then does another semester starting in January. He will probably apply for the aide's job at my campus and hopefully will have time to study and test like he did this past semester at the middle school.
Thunderduck is coming home tonight - a day early -- we haven't told Chunk yet, though. We're going to let him be surprised!
took Lurch to get his late b-day present -- soccer gear. He really thinks that he wants to be goalie. TrainWreck and all the varsity guys he hangs out with took him over to the fields yesterday and shot goals at him and then took him to play Halo with them and hang out at TrainWreck's friend's house.
btw TrainWreck went and got a job at McD's just out of the clear blue -- kinda a good deal, now that I think about it because he will have some running around money since things are tight around here.
L8R = going to go on a quest for cookie dough