Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Beans AND Noodles!

So I go junk-storing (drunk-whoring) with QueenB AND my mother because I just don't know of a more redneck way to start this story! (I kept calling QueenB BarbaraJean like on Reba!)

I am in line with my carefully-selected second-hand items (junk) behind this guy who is attempting to purchase 2 white ceramic canisters. He begins to bargain with the girl at the register who replies with a Mary Jo Buttafuco hare-lip speech impediment that he has difficulty understanding. Just shoot me now.

CanisterMan: Aren't there supposed to be 3 of these in a set?
MaryJo: I don't know let me ask thomeone --- (yelling off to the guy strolling through "housewares") ' Hey Mike....are there thupposed to be 3 of these jars in a thet?'
Mike: (who has as many teeth as there are canisters in a set) There's always jest been 2 of 'em up on this shelf here
CanisterMan: I don't want to pay full price for 2 of them - there are supposed to be 3 of these jars in a set
MaryJo: I can cut down the prithe for you...let me thee--- they are $9.95 -- that is about $10 and divide that by 3....ummmmm that would be $3 and 10 minuth 3 -- you can have em for $6
CanisterMan: (either baffled by the mathematical confusion himself, or taking a bargain when he can get one) ok, I'll take 'em.....what would you use these for????
MaryJo: well, I gueth you could put your beans in them ... or noodles... I dunno what elthe....Do you want me to thack these up?
CanisterMan: Yes, and could I leave right here on the counter till I get through lookin' around?

Hang fire people -- do you know how much self-control I exhibited during this whole exchange? I for one, am GLAD that the 3rd canister was missing - because apparently she was out of ways to fill them up...beans AND noodles? Pretty much would be the end of my universe, too.

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