Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I'm So Sorry

Uncle Albert.  And I let me just say that I am bemoaning the fact that I just had to explain that reference to a child/adultish child.

Ok that rant is over.  Now I am BWI and you are to be subjected to random blogness.  Why?  Because I am not faring so well at the poker tournament, and I have now digressed to playing poker with packets of sugar and Sweet n Low.  After just 2 glasses of Merlot, I have come to the decision that A) Someone should give me a dollar so I can play "Ode to Billie Joe" on the jukebox, B) I will kick anyone's a$$ for you (even your mother's) if the price is right -- btw, the price is generally a dollar so that I can play "Ode to Billie Joe" on the jukebox, and C) Cheesecake should be served in bars.

Basically, C) should sum up the fact that I have had it with people who are in positions of authority over me who know less about my AND their jobs than I do.  Pisses me off, I'm just saying. 

Example 1:  Received an email from a "specialist" wanting to know what topics we should discuss at an upcoming meeting.  I replied with a suggestion for a topic.  "Specialist" replied asking me if I would like to lead the discussion.  How do I nicely and professionally say, "F*ck, no, bi+ch, I don't want to do your job for you?"  Should I, for instance, say, "F*ck , no, bi+ch, I don't want to do your job for you, Hugs & Kisses, WTP?"   What if I add little X's and O's at the end?

Example 2:  Information that was supposed to be turned in for an assessment-type situation.  The person in charge neglected to tell me or Hyphen the criteria before we submitted our information.  Consequently, we had to scramble for the whole hour of our conference to make it all correct.  

Oh, crap.  There's chocolate syrup over in the bartender stuff.  They should give it to me.   Because nobody will let me mainline tequila to completely erase this day from my cerebral storage forever.  

So.  I just told the bar owner to add "Once-a-Month-Cheesecake Week" to the menu.  It should be scheduled around my PMS whims.  Everyone else should synchronize their biological watches with mine, so that we can KNOW when the cheesecake will hit.  However,  the menus are laminated, so if I really and truly want to observe "Once-a-Month-Cheesecake Week," I will be forced to smuggle in a Sharpie and write it on the menus myself. 

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