Friday, March 07, 2014

Checklist for a Friday Evening

Meet Lucilles at bar.
Consume beer between raucous fits of laughter. 
Get up and briefly leave patio when one of the Lucille's breaks a fart bomb capsule. 
Become concerned when her finger begins dripping blood from the cut she received while breaking the fart bomb vial. 
Drink and laugh until the band on the patio starts setting up and getting in our way. 
Discuss karaoke options. 
Text three Lucille's when a viable karaoke option is located.
Turn  vehicle around and drive back  downtown for karaoke.
Consume beer while laraoke guy attempts to set up FOR ALMOST AN HOUR. 
Speculate if karaoke guy is distracted more by us or the DTs that he seems to be shaking off while trying to earn his 7 day chip.  
Cheer when karaoke guy finally starts. 
Sentd Hammy to request songs to sing.  
Get bummed out by first two singers because their songs are serious downers AND they sing too well for this to be any fun at all.
Laugh at toddler dancing because parent saw fit to bring a toddler to a bar.  
Laugh when me and Felix both have the idea to stick our foot out to male the toddler trip and fall while dancing.  
Discuss buying our own karaoke business to put a stop to all this nonsense.
Drink more beer.
Abandon beer briefly for the restroom, where you find the dancing toddler getting her diaper changed.  
Return to find a former student singing some alternative song.  Badly.
Remark to Felix that due to her height, she might get a traffic ticket for driving her car without a car seat. 
Sing karaoke with MyPoolBoy. Finally.  
Eat a nacho. 
Resume beer consumption. 
Try to decipher what song the next guy is singing.  
Use Siri to try to locate what song he is singing.
Accidentally hit head on table while laughing at Siri's response that she does not understand the request!. 
Sing a Britney Spears song.  (Cuz that's how I roll.  Deal with it.) 
Convince Hammy to sing  and play air guitar on next song. 
Dance maniacally to a Billy Joel song. 
Do the Cupid Shuffle.  Explain to Hammy that it has remedial lyrics available as a modification for dancers who are unfamiliar with the dance.  
Sprint for last swig of beer in bottle when it is announced that you and Hammy are up to sing next after the aforementioned mainiacal dancing.  
Perform unfreakingbelievable rendition of Pat Benatar.  
Scream at an eardrum splitting blood curdling pitch and volume when 80s Night is announced for Month of April.  
Embarrass the crap out of MyPoolBoy.  
Say goodnight to Felix and Hammy because MyPoolBoy is DONE.  
Arrive home and find DonnyCat impatiently awaiting my return.  

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