We Are Stupid

 Undergarment Russian nesting dolls. If it don't fit you must acquit. What size is it Canadians use it must be metric

New school year

Ok, so all the other teachers I know are completely jealous and hate me right now -- I have a self-contained class with only 18 really good kids -- only 4 are title and NO SpEd, NO Bilingual/ESL, NO GT, NO behavior problems -- I am modifying for NO ONE! They pretty much "get" everything. Also -- we only have to have 8 grades per 6 weeks this year instead of 12, so I feel like I am TEACHING instead of throwing paper at them to try to get grades! I'm up this early because I have done something HORRIBLE to my neck and can hardly turn my head or stand upright. I think it happened Friday night (MyPoolBoy and I went to 6th Street with Felix and her husband). Great story, there about a cross-dresser -- maybe I'll have time later. Anyhow -- my weight this a.m. was 168.5 (so I'm recording it as 169). I ordered the Body Clutter Menu Mailer from  not even exercising yet, but I've already lost 4 pounds just from eating the recipes. Got my laptop back, so maybe I can post more regularly again!

when I'm four

Y'all. I just met Ellis at the beer garden of a local brewery. Ellis us a four year old badass. Here's how you can tell Ellis is a badass: she is wearing boys swim trunks, oversized rhinestone shades, flip flops and has TWO bandaids. Upon arrival, she  abandoned her loser parents and walked around the stone border of every flower bed before approaching me to ask my name and introduce herself.  She then ran to the empty stage of the beer garden and proceeded to dance to the music being piped in. Ellis is not dancing like no one is watching.... Ellis is dancing like EVERYONE is watching. 

Ellis, in 17 years, I'm buying you a round. 

KOVD Traffic Update

12:19 pm Street level view

Saw a squirrel "pedestrian"  earlier.

There still appears to be 3 vehicles in the nearby parking lot.

KOVD Traffic Report

11:19 a.m. "KOVD" Mullet County traffic report on the 19s. Street on 

northeast side of porch empty , a blue car spotted on street on south  side of the porch.

Fishing for Advice

Dear nonBaptist friends:  what kind of rosaries does one have to recite to do penanace for murder because the man I am married to is mixing catfish stinkbait in the kitchen and we have people coming in.

P. S. It will be an "accident"
Please react with an appropriately surprised  demeanor when you hear the news of his demise.  

I Have Seen My Future

I saw my future in line at Walgreens (no, not Walmart...Walgreens) this afternoon.

Little old stooped over white haired lady in line in front of us with her cart and recyclable shopping bag lays 3 items on the checkout counter:  rubbing alcohol, a container of salt, and Ben Gay. 

IN her cart was a case of Dos Equis.

Ben Gay and beer, people. 

Wine Trail

Once again, under the hashtag of #OtherPeopleGoOnTripsIGoOnAdventures I have hit upon another one of those moments that makes MyPoolBoy so glad that he didn't marry someone boring.

We decided that we needed a bottle of our favorite winery's blackberry / blueberry wine.  Alas, it was before the winery was open (because apparently civilized people don't start going to the winery before noon -- or they are going to "sell no wine before its time" or some bullsh1t).

That's ok, I think.  The liquor store downtown opens at 10 and they have it.  (Because white trash folks WILL go to the liquor store before noon.)
Alas, they were sold out. '

What to do, what to do?

Soooooo, I went to the winery website and found locations where it could be procured, and I tried to keep a straight face when I instructed MyPoolBoy that he needed to drive out to the deer processor.

Deer.

Processor.

I sent him in because HE would not look out of place in the deer processor shop.  He opened the door and turned right back around and motioned for me to come in.  Because while he does not look out of place IN the deer processor shop, he does seem out of place BUYING WINE at the deer processor shop.  Y'all.  We bought wine at the deer processor.

I am happy to report that as a result of our efforts, we successfully obtained not just one but THREE bottles of wine.

And a bag of jerky.