Hurricane Rita

Here we are in central Tx and I am surrounded by morons.

Last night, people were waiting in line at a gas station to save 5 cents a gallon on gas -- ok, folks, you have to get 20 gallons to save A DOLLAR! You're probably burning off a dollar's worth of gas just starting/restarting your car to move up in the line!

Now one of our grocery stores is out of bread, water, and eggs. OMG we're all gonna die because we live HUNDREDS of miles away from a storm. What idiots. Let me help -- THIS is a GLOBE...can you say GLOBE? Good. Now see this BIG state? That's Texas. See this star on Texas? That's Austin -- you are on the OTHER side of that star-- see how far the water is from the star? It would have to be a freakin category EIGHTEEN to hit us!

We had a tornado about 10 years ago -- we NEVER lost water and we only lost power for about a day. Why in the name of pete are some 40 mph winds and POSSIBLE thunderstorms turning people into braindamagedroolingdoofuslosers?

Hell, people, Oreos are on sale and NO ONE IS BUYING THOSE!!!!! There's plenty of beer left on the shelves, too! What kind of Texans are you to buy up all the bread and leave the beer????? If this had been an actual emergency, the Lone Star would be gone and women would be selling their first born children for a container of margarita salt.

Nope, no state of emergency, yet.
The local bar was selling 'ritas for 4 bucks each in honor of Rita.
What the hell do you need bread for if you have tequila?