No matter how you look at it, smart is not pretty!

Ok, so after a bit of an argument with MyPoolBoy (he sat by Felix last night at RBar instead of me - I pointed it out, he got defensive), I've come to realize a few painful realities about myself.

I use housework and cooking as a means to make up for any shortcomings I feel I have as a woman (i.e. - if I'm not pretty enough) - so that is probably why I go into overload-rampage-nesting mode whenever I am feeling sorry for myself.

I usually end up feeling sorry for myself after I've tried too hard to be "strong" after some sort of downfall (ok, my uncle's funeral was Monday, and I had to deal with TAKS on Tuesday, so it's been a rough week) -- and I think I do this because I have a habit of hiding my feelings (weakness) until I finally just implode. Then the whole "I'm not good enough monster" rears its ugly head.

I've always been "the smart one" and no matter how "attractive" people try to make you think that beauty on the inside is, the reality is pretty and smart are not the same thing.