My New Favorite Song

¨The man said, ´Why you think you´re here?´
I said, ´I have no idea.´¨

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

¨They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no!¨

Pig Candy Recipe Amendment & Reggae

Just wanted you to know that the thick bacon does NOT work - it comes out floppy. We also decided that considering we are using local (Read: Cheap) bacon, it might help if we drain off the fat halfway through cooking so that it can crisp up better.

Some wild hair made me download and burn some reggae style songs onto a cd - it is very conducive to on-the-porch wine drinking. ...It has been titled "Porch Drunk-y"
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!

Leaving for Florida on Friday - haven´t packed a Dayum thing!

Pig Candy

Ahhhh - adventures at Felix´s house have given rise to some ¨rules¨ for Pig Candy.
First of all, here is the recipe:
Bacon (several strips)
Brown Sugar (enough to coat strips of bacon)

Directions

1. Coat uncooked bacon in some dark brown sugar.
2. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
Recipe from The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook and Financial Planner, by Jill Conner Browne copyright Copyright 2003, Three Rivers Press publishing.

Now, due to my inebriated state after the required 20 minutes, the second batch of pig candy that we made last Friday night was done when the smoke alarm went off - literally. I burned the h3ll out of it. This gave rise to the first 2 rules of Pig Candy:

Rule 1) I am not allowed to make the second batch of Pig Candy (due to the aforementioned inebriated state that I will undoubtedly be in after 20 minutes of being at Felixś house)

Rule 2) If you arrive late to Felixś house, you will not get any Pig Candy (see the reasoning for Rule 1)

One of our sub friends was there with us Friday night and told me she had tried to make it but all the sugar came off and did not coat it so well. Our theory was that she had used a good quality of bacon that was too lean and did not have enough fat to hold the sugar in place. Well after reading the Marriott´s menu for Motherś Day Brunch and arriving at the conclusion that $45 was too much to pay for it considering that the salad bar had ¨local lettuce" -which we surmised to mean that it came from HEB - this past weekend we arrived at Rule 3:

Rule 3) To ensure quality Pig Candy, you must use ¨local bacon¨ (no expensive stuff! Go for the Hill Country Fare/HEB brand!)

Barbie Girl Lip Sync

BWWWWAAAAAAHAHHAAAHAAAHAAA!

Someone needs to get out of the dorms more!

My Own Worst Enemy lip sync

This is not as hard as I thought it would be. There's plenty of crazy people out there with video cameras!

Jessie's Girl Lip Sync

I must caution you that the girl gets a little too into it at one point -- maybe it was just the sound of Rick's voice!!!!!

Grace Kelly lip sync

Ok, so I found this one, too! I think I'll probably find all the songs on my wtp playlist and post 'em. Watch the girl in the back with the towels!!!!!

Grace Kelly



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Killer Queen lip sync

killer queen-jd

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Got this from MySpace Videos. I probably don't have to tell most of y'all which kid of mine this reminds me of!!!!

You! Off the Pole!

Another playlist - this is one that will make drunken middle-aged women think that they should be the center of attention by climbing onto a table and grinding their hips.

You! Off The Pole!
1.
Like A Virgin
Madonna
2.
You Shook Me All Night Long
AC/DC
3.
Pour Some Sugar On Me
Def Leppard
4.
Cherry Pie
Warrant
5.
Lady Marmalade
Patti LaBelle
6.
Brick House
Commodores
7.
Love To Love You Baby
Donna Summer
8.
Nasty Boys
Janet Jackson
9.
Feel Like Making Love
Bad Company
10.
Toxic
Britney Spears
11.
Fire
Pointer Sisters

Drunk-Alongs

This is my list for the next cd that I will probably put together for the Lucilles. Guaranteed to make even DrunkenFelix the Self-Proclaimed Tone-Deaf Wonder sing out loud.

H3ll, singing badly beats puking in the yard, hitting on your friend's husband, or peeing down your leg. Now I probably need to get drunk and see which ones I will actually sing with...so that I can burn a cd this weekend and take it for a trial run to the BIG SECRET SLUMBER PARTY on Friday the 13th. (Our secretary is leaving, and we are giving her a surprise going away party by having her husband dump her at Felix's house that night!)

Drunk-Alongs
1.
Love Will Keep Us Together
Captain And Tennille
2.
Delta Dawn
Tanya Tucker
3.
Tubthumping
Chumbawumba
4.
Rhinestone Cowboy
Glen Campbell
5.
The Love Boat
Jack Jones
6.
Hotel California
Eagles
7.
Sweet Caroline
Neil Diamond
8.
Bohemian Rhapsody
Queen
9.
The Boys are Back In Town
Thin Lizzy
10.
The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia
Vickie Lawrence
11.
Sister Christian
Night Ranger
12.
American Pie
Don Mclean
13.
Friends In Low Places
Garth Brooks
14.
Build Me Up Buttercup
Herman's Hermits
15.
500 Miles
The Proclaimers
16.
You Never Even Call Me By My Name
David Allen Coe
17.
Come Sail Away
Styx
18.
Fight For Your Right To Party
Beastie Boys
19.
Wasted Days And Wasted Nights
Freddy Fender
20.
Ring of Fire
Johnny Cash
21.
Shout
Jackie Wilson
22.
Livin' On A Prayer
Bon Jovi
23.
Summer Nights
From: Grease
24.
Don't Bring Me Down
ELO
25.
Come On Eileen
Dexy's Midnight Runners

Tickled - and sober!

Felix and I got completely hysterical laughing this morning at our early morning meeting with the principal this morning. First we were laughing cuz the principal said that the architecture firm that is making the plans for our new school building "will have a drawing next week sometime" we both thought he meant like a RAFFLE drawing, not an architectural sketch and we just died laughing. Then Felix said that she figured out that if we got arrested for public intoxication downtown they would put us in the back room with "the bench" in the police station. From there we could dig a tunnel through the wall to the new sports bar and get back to drinking!!!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I swear we were laughing so hard that she had her face buried in her jacket and I had tears rolling down my face.
It takes so very little to entertain us....sadly.

I also found out that it takes a whole fresh pineapple or 7 cans of pineapple to make a liter of infused vodka.
This I must do.

You were a Girl Scout Cookie

Girl Scout Cookie

1/2 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
1/2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
1/2 oz peppermint schnapps
Pour ingredients into a stainless steel shaker over ice, and shake until completely cold. Strain into an old-fashioned glass, and serve.

It's just called a Girl Scout Cookie - takes me back to "Heathers" when Heather Chandler tries to explain to Veronica why she could never be a Heather - because "You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie."

Sounds good- Reese's Martini

Peanut Butter Cup Martini
3 oz Frangelico® hazelnut liqueur
2 oz DeKuyper® Buttershots liqueur
2 oz Godiva® chocolate liqueur
2 oz half-and-half

Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice, shake, strain into an old-fashioned glass straight up or on the rocks. (Note: you can substitute any chocolate liqueur for the Godiva including dark creme de cacao, Vermeer, Bailey's Irish cream, or Cask & Creme Chocolate Temptation. If you use a cream liqueur you can cut down on the half and half.)

Here's another - with Bailey's
Peanut Butter Cup Martini
1 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
1 oz Frangelico® hazelnut liqueur
1 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
5 oz milk
Pour the Kahlua coffee liqueur, Frangelico hazelnut liqueur and Bailey's irish cream into a hurricane glass filled with ice cubes. Fill with milk, stir well, and serve.

hmmmm... pbj martini

PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY MARTINI

2 parts ABSOLUT VODKA
1 part Black Currant Liqueur
1 part Hazelnut Liqueur
1 part Strawberry Puree
Strawberry
Shake with ice and strain to a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with strawberry.

Oreo Shot

I can't find an Oreo Martini

aka Oreo Speedwagon
Ingredients
1 oz.
Kahlua®
1 oz.
Creme de Cacao
1 oz.
Bailey's Irish Cream®
1 Splash
Vodka
Directions:
Layer Kahlua, Creme de Cacao, and Bailey's (on top), then top with a splash of vodka.

Somebody stop me! - Root Beer Martini

Root Beer Martini
Ingredients:
1 ounce infused vanilla vodka
1/2 ounce root beer schnapps
Hand-whipped cream

Directions:
Pour over ice in a tumbler and shake. Strain into a martini glass. Top with the whipped cream. For a less "powerful" drink, you can use regular root beer.

Somebody simply must go to the liquor store - Key Lime Pie Martini

Key Lime Pie Martini
An adult dessert in a glass! Freezing the vodka makes this icy good!
by Rita L
1 servings

3 tablespoons liquor vanilla liqueur
1 tablespoon lemon-flavored vodka
2 tablespoons key lime juice or fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons heavy cream

Garnish
1 lime wedge
1/8 teaspoon finely crushed graham cracker crumbs


Chill martini glass.
In a shaker filled with ice combine Liquor 43,vodka,key-lime juice& heavy cream.
Shake till shaker is icy cold to hold.
Rub rim of chilled glass with lime wedge then dip into graham and strain drink into martini glass.

I Absolut-ly (HA!) do not have 30 days worth of patience

Homemade Pineapple Vodka
1 x pineapple, trimmed and cut into small pieces
1 1/2 litres vodka
1 cup sugar
1 cup water

Directions:
Place pineapple chunks in a large jar or resealable container.
Pour in vodka and store in the refrigerator for 7 days.
Place the sugar and water in a small saucepan and bring to a boil until the sugar has completely dissolved.
Set aside to cool and then refrigerate until ready to use.
Strain the vodka from the pineapple into a clean jar, pressing down on the fruit to extract every bit of juice.
Pour in the syrup and refrigerate for 30 days.

Red Velvet Cookies

Good heavenly days - I have to make a whole new category for this post.

Red Velvet Cookies
1 box Duncan Hines Red Velvet Cake Mix
2 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil

Mix all ingredients together. Roll into balls and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Flatten down slightly (depending on the thickness you desire). Bake at 375 degrees F until the tops crackle (about 8 to 10 minutes) or until desired doneness.
Cool, then frost.

Cream Cheese Frosting
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 teaspoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 cups confectioners' sugar
Beat cream cheese, butter, milk and vanilla extract in a medium bowl with electric mixer on low speed until smooth.Gradually beat in confectioners' sugar on low speed, 1 cup at a time, until smooth and spreadable. Refrigerate any remaining frosting.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting:
Add 2 ounces unsweetened baking chocolate, melted and cooled, with the butter.

More yum - Carmel Apple Martini

Ingredients:
4Part(s)Vodka
2Part(s)Apple Mixer
1Part(s)Butterscotch Schnapps
Instructions:Shake with ice, pour and enjoy!

(I think this might be better if you back off on the vodka)