Empty Well

or blood from a turnip -- however you look at it, I'm drained emotionally.

First of all, we lost our files on our website so all work done since last year is flat-out GONE. Then today I get an email saying that our domain name has been sold off to someone else. So there goes my identity on the web.

Anyway, I tried my hardest this week during the holiday to do some stuff around the house and to get ME some ME time (scrapbooking, etc.). I did get SOME stuff done and feel like I got to unwind a little bit, but after having 12 teenagers take over the house Thursday night and leaving stuff lying around I felt back at square one yesterday and I spent yesterday morning and this morning catching up on dishes and laundry and picking up the living room and dining room.

Right when I'd get on a roll, MyPoolBoy would come in and "hint" that it was time for lunch or dinner and I'd have to drop what I was doing and cook a meal. (not to leave out the morning when he asked me if I was hungry for breakfast -- TRANSLATION: he wanted breakfast and I had to get out of bed and cook breakfast while he laid there and watched tv).

Then tonight MyPoolBoy gets all pissed because he doesn't have as many credits as we thought he did due to some problem with his govt class at OC and the one at CTC. Of course, I am blamed because I am the whole reason he took the CTC class, etc. etc. etc. I completely lost it. I just got in the car and drove off and parked and cried for about 30 minutes solid. They have no idea (especially MyPoolBoy) how much they are taking out of me. I jumped on MyPoolBoy when I got back because I am so tired of being his effin' cheerleader all the damn time. He wants constant success and constant reassurance and I just can't do it anymore...it is wearing me out. I told him since I had stayed up multiple nights typing his research papers while he SLEPT that I would at least appreciate a thank you or something. SOOOOO I've been exhausted working, dealing with his school, trying to keep up the house so that he doesn't have anything to worry about except college and he gets all pissy and does the whole typical overreaction thing that he is going to quit school -- it is just causing me more stress. CRIPES that sends me over the deep end....it's getting really old. More drama than any girl I know. The constant overreaction is so STUPID just STUPID he makes a total a$$ of himself.

Not to mention that I still have to get TrainWreck's stuff lined out for a website (that MyPoolBoy let lapse into nonexistence) to start getting track coaches to come look at him...poor Lurch and Chunk are getting completely ignored, or so I feel...so what do I do? I bend over backwards to pay attention to them and get sidetracked from what I want and need to do and end up feeling guilty and stressed even worse.

You can't get water from an empty well -- I really need to be filled back up spiritually and emotionally. No wonder my blood pressure is ridiculously high. I'm just waiting to die or at least end up in the hospital so I can rest. They have no clue how bad it is.....and I think if they do, they just don't care because it would be too much effort to do something that mom will do later if you just let it sit long enough (including school & paperwork).
Must be nice to be an oblivious male a$$hole.