Friday, January 18, 2008

Hairy Situation

Ok, if you are ooged out by semi-intimate stuff then stop reading now. However, if you are one of my 3-d friends or one of my sons or one of the warped college students that my sons tell me read this blog, then you'll probably be fine cuz you are used to me by now.

Here's what happened:
I made a potty run at school today and after doing my requisite thigh-building squat-over-the seat maneuver, I turned to flush and noticed a suspicious-looking hair on the seat. Not knowing if it was mine or not - you know, those kinds of hairs DO all look the same - I decided it would be rude of me to leave it there for the next person to find. I figured if I left and someone was outside the door waiting to be the next one in, they would ASSUME it was mine and think I was really gross and inconsiderate. So. I postponed flushing for a bit and bent down a little and blew on it to try to dislodge it from its porcelain perch. It didn't work. I tried again, blowing a little harder, and got one puff out before I realized the idiocy of the situation. So I discarded the blowing technique and opted for a more hands-on approach. NO, I DID NOT TOUCH IT. GAWD! But I collected my thoughts and procured a bit of toilet paper and dangled it precariously next to the hair. Then I attempted to gently sweep the hair into the water below with a dangling square of toilet paper. No go. Once more I swept across the seat and tried to get the hair to budge. It was like it was super-glued onto the dayum seat! Finally, the thought hit me that I needed to just get on with things and flush and get out of there before whoever MIGHT be outside the door started thinking that I was doing more than just peeing.
So, finally I just scrunched up some more t.p., pushed the sumbi+ch stubborn hair off into its watery doom and slapped down on the handle and finally got the flush over with.

Then I washed my hands really good with the anti-bacterial soap, stifled my laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation, regained my composure, and resolved to be sure to blog as soon as I got home today.

So there you are. Come on, now. Shut up. What would you have done??????

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