Saturday, February 16, 2008

Baby You Can Drive My Car

After a few glasses of wine & beer at the PlaceWhereIAmNotAllowedToYellTheFWordAnymore, DrunkenFelix and I began to plot a 25th anniversary celebration for MyPoolBoy and me.

1) We will have to go to Vegas. Felix and I and MyPoolBoy if there is enough money.

2) We will coordinate the timing with a Rick Springfield concert. MyPoolBoy will get Rick to propose to me onstage. This is a diversion from MyPoolBoy proposing to me, cuz Felix decided I would much rather marry Rick if I had a 2nd chance at marriage.

3) The wedding will be performed by an Elvis impersonator at one of those cheesy Vegas/ Graceland chapels.

4)I will lose my virginity to Rick Springfield. At this point MyPoolBoy is no longer involved in his own anniversary at all. What adds to the miraculousness of this part of the plot is the fact that my uterus is practically a clown car after 4 kids, so I don't know how we're going to handle the whole revirgination deal.

Here is where the list was interrupted by someone DrunkerThanMe. DrunkerThanMe decided that we were really fun people - she had been eavesdropping for a while. She began drunkenly singing Jessie's Girl and hugging all over us, her new best friends. We got up to go about the same time that she did, and we noticed that she was in no condition to walk, much less drive. Felix managed to get her keys and MyPoolBoy and I got her out the door to find her car. We were going to have me drive her home in her car and Felix was going to ride in the back and MyPoolBoy was going to follow in the truck, but it was a stick shift so Felix and I switched places - besides Felix said I would be better at being the talk-y bi+ch in the back seat and she could do the driving.

Got DrunkerThanMe home and I asked her to show me the restroom to stall her out of the room while Felix hid her keys behind a picture frame on the counter. DrunkerThanMe went to go get something out of the kitchen and Felix and I high-tailed it out of there.

H3ll I hope that girl didn't have to go anywhere anytime soon. At least she made it home alive.

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