Friday, April 10, 2009

I Love a Parade

So. The county seat of Mullet County is having a big festival this weekend and one of the attractions is a pet parade for the kids. The premise is that the kiddos dress their poor unsuspecting furry family members in a ridiculous costume of some sort and march them down through the town square on a leash for the joyous opportunity to be admired/humiliated by the masses that gather along the streets.

Please note that I am not even going to address the concept of dressing up a cat for such an event. Cats are smarter and have enough sense to know when their humans are trying to cause them undue embarrassment. I know of not one single person who has ever successfully decorated a cat in any manner and survived the ordeal without a trip to the minor emergency for severe lacerations and several rounds of antibiotics.

Now I know some people claim their dogs "like it"when they get all gussied up with painted toenails and bows and doggy sweaters, but not so with our little Weezie. Here's the thing... not only does she detest having you touch her paws - she is exceptionally freakazoid when it comes to her toenails. We can hardly trim them, much less paint them. We got one of those doggy dremel kinds of nail-filing thingys for her so she runs when she even hears the blender now cuz she thinks its someone after her toenails. And dressing her up is out of the question as well. MonsterInLaw gave us some old poodle sweaters (now we've resorted to hand me downs for the dog, no less) and when you put them on Weasel she lays down on her back with all 4 legs in the air as if she has died and is awaiting someone to place a lily upon her chest.

So - no pet parade for us... I can envision the Weeze with one toenail painted, frozen from whatever costume we place on her, laying on her back like a crack whore - legs in the air -- and us pulling the leash just dragging her down the road.

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