Monday, July 06, 2009

Sleeping with Felix

Well I sorta survived the first day/night at the coast with the Lucilles. As usual I slept with Felix and about 5 or 6 am I was awakened by her KICKING THE FOOL out of me. At first, I was startled: was I snoring? am I rolling over on top of her and crushing her tiny little body?

But let me clarify - this was not just a "hey move over" kick. This was a series of rabbit kicks, like when you scratch a dog in the right spot behind its ear and its leg starts moving on its own out of control. It would have been hilarious if it hadn't have been before sunrise - and it hadn't woken me up just enough to cause me to have a weirda$$ dream when I rolled back over.

By weirda$$ I mean it had David Hasselhoff in it.

David Hasselhoff's kid went to our school for some reason. And David Hasselhoff's kid knocked over a grandfather clock that was standing in the middle of the open area by the library at school for some reason. So I was telling David Hasselhoff's kid that he was going to have to either pay $10 to replace the glass in the front that broke, or sit in after school detention for 2 days. Or he could pay $5 and sit in after school detention for 1 day.

David Hasselhoff was not happy.

He came up to school and was griping at me because he didn't think it was fair to make his kid pay for the glass because we shouldn't have had the grandfather clock in the middle of the open area anyway.

Then I woke up.
I don't know if it was the barbecue we ate or the shots we were drinking at midnight, but I'm scared to go to sleep now.

Yes, I fear the 'Hoff.

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