Saturday, July 18, 2009

Tact from the Tacky

A quandary. You see, as hard as it still is for some of you to believe, I am a bit of a bi+ch. And this personality affliction only worsens when I am under the influence of anything fermented. So when the opportunity to rate pageant contestants presented itself, I did not decline - in fact I embraced it with an eerie psycho-esque zeal. And I am trying really hard to blog this with a bit of tact -- at least until the person I want to win actually has the tiara firmly on her head.

Anyhoo - I was drinking Sangria (yummy) and rating the pageant contestants and it is not beneath me to give everyone that I am NOT voting for 1 star and my favorite girl 5 stars. You know, cuz I'm trash. Not only did I do THAT, but I did it multiple times, using every email address I possess.

At first, I was telling myself that it was just a numbers game, nothing personal to the other girls. About halfway into the glass of Sangria, I began to justify my actions with actual REASONS why I felt the girls I gave 1's deserved those ratings.

For instance: one girl had an unfortunate thing going on with her hair - I immediately thought of a Banned Camper statement describing this type of hairdon't as "she must've gotten mad at her head" - 1 star. Little Miss ______ (I won't say the state) looked like she also has a future as Miss October - 1 star. I was taken aback by one chick with HUGE earrings that quite possibly been won for her out of a crane machine by her little brother. It is sweet that she felt she should honor her sibling's mad hand-eye-coordination skills by wearing his prize in her profile photo, but - 1 star, nonetheless. I also gave 1 star to the chicks who looked older than me in their profile photos.

That's it - I make myself feel better by knocking others. I will be the first to admit it's tacky, but it is a personality flaw that I am afraid is undoable at this point in my life. It's in the old dog/ new tricks clause of my WTP contract.

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