Friday, June 18, 2010


I am really in fine form this morning and MyPoorPoolBoy is having to sit in public and suffer through it.  They are playing the 60's channel on the satellite radio at the bakery and I can't control my brain mouth at all.

First, Judy Collins - the Emily Dickinson of her generation, was on singing some lame sad bullshi+ song about why she is so dayum lonely (uh - cuz you are UGLY, Judy fix your hair and get some Max Factor after your face and then we'll talk about signing you up for Match.Com or PlentyOfFish.Com and we'll take a really fuzzy profile pic or something). 
Then THIS song came on: 

Now, I am pretty savvy as far as music goes and I thought I had heard them all.  But I must admit, this one was a new one on me.  So I listened intently to the lyrics and caught on to the gist of it all about 2 verses in..... and then I proceeded to make fun of it out loud:  

Last night at the dance I met Laurie,
So lovely and warm, an angel of a girl.
Last night I fell in love with Laurie -
Strange things happen in this world.

As I walked her home,
She said it was her birthday.
I pulled her close and said
"Will I see you anymore?"
Then suddenly she asked for my sweater
And said that she was very, very cold. 

Dude - she is either wanting you to give her the sweater as a birthday present or she is totally trying to strip you - go for it!!!!!!!!

I kissed her goodnight
At her door and started home,
Then thought about my sweater 

Liar!  You were thinking about going back and totally doing Laurie.  The only reason you thought about your sweater was that you had a huge b0ner and you needed it to camouflage your crotch. 

And went right back instead.
I knocked at her door and a man appeared.
I told why I'd come, then he said:

"You're wrong, son.
You weren't with my daughter. 

You were with my skanky cheating Cougar WIFE!  Thanks for bringing her home, though!  I haven't seen her in a few days -- btw, she has VD and it makes her have cold chills, did she mention that to you? 

Ok, there's more - his necrophiliac-self went to the cemetery to find her and his sweater was on the tombstone, but I really wasn't listening too much anymore cuz I was laughing so hard at my own Cougar/VD comment that I had to look up how predictably predictable the rest of the song went:   blah blah blah - just dig her up, a$$hole, and quit whining already!

MyPoolBoy told the people next to us that I was off my meds.   BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

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