Sunday, April 23, 2006

.Hitting Bottom and a New Outlook

Well, we went to our usual hangout (MyPoolBoy and Felix and a couple of other teachers) on Friday afternoon before the thing at the library -- right before we left these guys from Pflugerville come in and start playing shuffleboard behind us and start talking to us. As we are finishing our drinks, another round appears - from them, so we HAVE to drink them, ya know? Then they pay out and leave and right when they are leaving ANOTHER round shows up - they had paid for more while they paid out.

So now we have missed Chunk's baseball game, missed our time to be at the library, and I'm getting pretty hooted. I started feeling guilty about the game and the library thing, and then went to the restroom and saw myself in the mirror - I looked like HELL - I had really let myself go the past few weeks - cuz I KNOW I've been depressed.

Anyway, I got down and MyPoolBoy got mad and left and sat in the car, so I said bye to Felix and we came home. MyPoolBoy fell asleep about 2 minutes after we got home, but I took a shower and blow-dryed my hair before going to bed. I woke up SO rested, better outlook and my feet didn't hurt. Actually, now that I think about it, they don't hurt this morning EITHER.

Gosh! I've been SO DEPRESSED! Anyway yesterday I woke up and fixed my hair - NOT in a ponytail- and put on a little makeup. I got all of TrainWreck's prom stuff taken care of, including making him a boutenneirre since he didn't have a date. I also organized all of Thunderduck's college soccer clippings and got a new scrapbook and ALMOST (except for a schedule, 8 digital pictures that I need to print and the banquet stuff) have it done. I mean all I have to do is glue in some pictures! I finished MyPoolBoy's dad's memorial scrapbook except for the obit (which I am waiting to get from MonsterInLaw when she comes down). I also almost finished my college graduation/honors scrapbook except for a copy of my invitation and I thought about making and printing a small version of my diploma.

I'm also not dreading having MonsterInLaw come down for TrainWreck's track meet on Thursday, I've just resolved myself to clean the house and that's it. No dread, no anger, no depression. I really think I just needed to hit bottom and have some time to do nothing but piddle to get myself "rebooted" I am going to probably seriously stick to my 54321 routine again because I have been leaving out the 3 for Me REALLY BADLY and it was wearing me down. I have to put myself before I do something 4 Others and do a Take 5 at home or at work. I had been putting myself last to the point that nothing else was getting done, anyway! Depression is a sucky thing.

ok - so today I have to clean house, take Chunk to baseball practice, print a calendar, do TrainWreck's grad invitations, and do lesson plans - that's a 5, a 4, a 2, another 4, and a 5... gotta do some 1's and 3's! Me and God need to have room in there somewhere. Ok, so I'm off to find some Joyce Meyer and hit the kitchen!

PS - I also haven't gotten on the scale all weekend - not obsessing!

UPDATE: Joyce Meyer today was all about decluttering the negative things and influences from your life. God sure speaks when he has to!

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