Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Lesser of Two Evils

The BEST choice right now is to drink a bottle and a half of Merlot, and a 6 pack of warm beer, and a fifth of vodka, and whatever is left in the bottle of brandy at the back of the liquor cabinet... and then regurgitating all of it back up through my nostrils.  As opposed to the day that I ACTUALLY had.  I, honestly, am tired of being on the same planet with people who are dumber than me.  And I get tired of other people's negligence suddenly becoming my emergency, and I am tired of "being Jesus."  And WHY in the name of holy Peter himself does my son think it is necessary to load the jukebox with songs about TRACTORS for crying out loud on a day like this?   It's a TRACTOR - a farm implement.  Granted, an important development in the industrialization of American farming and horticulture, but - IT'S A TRACTOR.

Is it a penis metaphor? 

If he, in fact, takes the tractor for another round (and assuming that we are still metaphorically referring to the "tractor") - eventually the "tractor" is going to contract some sort of STD that will put it out of commission for at least one harvest season. 

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