I should make apple martinis a yearly tradition. I have had MORE fun tonight! First of all, if you don't live in PeytonPlace, you cannot even begin to fathom the magnitude of trick-or-treating on our street. Everyone uses us as Freeload Freeway on Halloween night. Ok, so here's the deal. Everyone in the town and for about 3 neighboring communities around comes down our street to trick or treat. We have an MHMR house around the corner and THEY come every year, too. It is so bad that a few years ago the police put up barricades at either end and don't let anyone but residents drive down it on Halloween night. One year a little girl had a seizure and they couldn't get the ambulance down to her. SO, anyway here are all these people (not just kids) and every year it is a stupid amount of money spent on candy that you can only afford to give each kid ONE PIECE of the cheapest, crappiest candy that you can get on sale with a coupon at Walmart. One year we had 840 kids - I counted!
OK. SO.
Anyway, tonight MyPoolBoy and I started passing stuff out about 5:45 and then he went to go get Lurch from football practice, while Chunk set off trick or treating. I had to put WeaselDog and the DonnyCat inside because Weasel was having a shi+fit and Donny was going to attack a Ninja Turtle, I think. Well, by golly when MyPoolBoy got home he started freely pouring apple martinis into a glass for me (I think I had 4). Ok, so anyway I was giving out 4 -5 - 8- 12 pieces of candy at a time to the kids. I pretty much have had it after 15 years. I just don't have the spirit for it any more (we've been "put upon" by TOO MANY PEOPLE for TOO MANY YEARS - go to your own damn neighborhood/town!). Ok, so there I am 1 or 2 martinis into the wind and this not-so- little boy in a Longhorn jersey comes up and says trick or treat /Go UT. I said "you picked the wrong house to say that at, buddy and just for that you're only getting ONE piece of candy!" and I gave him ONE PIECE OF CANDY! Then laughed hysterically about it when MyPoolBoy came back out with my refill. So anyway we were out of candy by 6:58 pm! A new record! I turned out the light and came in and finished my drink and began drunk dialing Thunderduck and Felix about what I did to the poor little UT idiot. I also mentioned to Thunderduck that I ran out of candy before the MHMRs showed up this year. He appreciated that like no one else possibly could.
We also ordered a pizza delivered just out of meanness. I can't wait to see those poor S.O.B.'s try to get down this street!
Yep. This was a good one!
Oh - and MyPoolBoy got the trailer moved to a storage facility today! Woo Hoo! A step ABOVE white trash!
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