Drunker. Than. Me.

Felix and I went to the new sports bar downtown after school on Friday. Corporal Punishment was supposed to start playing at 7:20 pm, so we deemed ourselves to be their unofficial designated stalkers and go hang out and listen to them. Upon walking in, we immediately felt the x-ray vision of about 20 eyes on our chest areas. The place was full of geezers and a couple of rednecks. No other women except the waitress. We decided to stake out a table near the front where the band was to be set up, and around 5pm the manager introduced Jose - a guy he had hired off the street to perform as the warm-up act. By this time a few more Lucilles had shown up and of course we had had enough beer to make us immediately screech "Jose the Betrayer" and raise our glasses/bottles to the poor dude. He was pretty good, but he was TOO DAYUM LOUD and we couldn't talk. Add that to the choking visible smoke in the place (which I contend was not smoke but palpable testosterone) and we felt the need to retreat to the familiar confines of the R-Bar and get something to eat.

So across Main Street we stumbled, walking right in front of the police station, and around the corner to our comfort zone. MyPoolBoy showed up a few minutes later, and we got something to eat, and I downed a Princess Martini and got to wear my boa and tiara for a while. After the Lucilles left (around 8ish) Felix and MyPoolBoy and I proceeded to make the trek back across the street to the sports bar. We got a smaller table next to the dance floor and right across from the band. MyPoolBoy bought Yagermeister shots for the band (he and LeadSinger have this thing about buying each other shots in order to see who can make the other one ask random women for rides home). They were running pretty good and on the dance floor was this poor woman in a white sweater outfit-thing that she was too old for. Sadder than that was the fact that both her pinky toes were hanging over the outside of the straps of her sandals! And she was DRUNKER - THAN - ME! Doing that 60s/70s holding-up-an-imaginary-lighter-at-an-imaginary-concert dance that old hippies do. And right in front of my boss...who I will admit is ok-looking for an older man and the guitar sure doesn't make him look all principal-ish...but he seemed annoyed at best. It was a riot! Boss'sWife was sitting a the bar behind us and we were laughing our @sses off!

A little while later, MyPoolBoy had to go pick up Lurch from the soccer game and while he was gone, the OldestManInThePlace came and asked me to dance. Much to DrunkenFelix's delight, I accepted and she shot a few camera phone photos of OldestManInThePlace twirling me around the dance floor.

OH OH OH OH OH! I almost forgot that I got to meet "I'm on Cialis and I still have 9 hours left" man in person, too!

Well, Boss'sWife had a few older lady-friends with her and I let them see and use the boa and tiara - they were so cute and delighted. One of them told me that if she ever decided to become a writer that she would definitely use my advice that "everyone should have a tiara - I keep one in my purse."

All in all a good night. I'm almost well, I think.
TAKS is in 2 days. LAWRD.