Saturday, August 06, 2011

Because Eye Love You

MyPoolBoy was complaining this morning that he couldn't get his contact lenses in.  He said it was because he thought he needed to trim his eyelashes.  I offered to use my eyelash curler on them to get them out of the way instead of his horrible plan of self-mutilation, but he adamantly refused.  He has some sort of over-testosteronated aversion to anything that may reside in the same vicinity as lipstick or tampons.  I TRIED to explain to him that it wouldn't make him be any more effeminate or grow boobs or anything like that, but he still declined and insisted that was not the reason... BECAUSE, he said, HE DOESN'T TRUST ME NEAR HIS EYES!!!!!!!!!!!! 


I told him he should totally trust me cuz I'd be all prepared and sh1t like an ocular superhero.  I think I could get a gold sparkly cape and have a big eyeball on the front of my shirt and --- AND --- I would have a utility belt like Batman and be like the Big Optical Crusader (the Big O - BWAHAHAHA) with a bottle of Visine in one holster and some contact lens cleaner solution in another holster and reading glasses and a monocle.  

And an eyelash curler. 

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