Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Fair Warning

You know those disclaimers they put up at the beginning of a movie or tv program to warn you that there is content which might be potentially upsetting to viewers due to violence or language or nudity or "adult situations" and that viewer discretion is advised?  (Whattheh3ll do they mean by an "adult situation" anyway?  Paying the mortgage?  Voting in a bond election?) 

Well, I was thinking for the comfort and safety of MyPoolBoy (and other husbands and boyfriends across America), that they should put a disclaimer like that before broadcasting commercials of half-clad skinnier-than-me models.  Especially Victoria's Secret push-up bra commercials.  The disclaimer should go something like this:

The following advertisement contains partially-clothed models that may make some women feel inferior and overweight no matter how many times your loved ones and significant others tell you that you are perfect just the way you are.  If you are prone to cursing, throwing random objects, or smashing the cheesecake you are eating into the tv screen while screaming "eat this" at the skinny-a$$ bi+ches who strut in front of your very eyes,  please use your prescribed anti-depressant medication at least 30 minutes prior to viewing this commercial.  And it wouldn't hurt to down your meds with a margarita or six. 

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