Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Mullet-boy meets the Lucilles and gets "Lucilled"

I introduced SPQ to some of the Lucilles last night at R-Bar. MyPoolBoy went because he made the finals of the poker tournament. I read a few excerpts and they hooted and hollered and made a fuss over who was going to read it next. We got a good discussion about how we were going to accommodate taking the Lucilles to the next level to elevate us to where we were smack in the middle of SPQdom and we decided that we will be needing our tiaras for the Port Aransas trip AND we simply must go shopping for skank-wear for one night of clubbing on our trip. Felix & BagLady are going swimsuit shopping on Thursday I think, but I already have my fabulous Annette Funicello/50's Barbie when She Still Had Black Hair bathing suit that my stepmom and I found at a vintage store.

Well, we were sitting there and generally small-talking and we got into a mullet discussion (MyPoolBoy was out of the tournament at this point, but he had gone to sit down with some of the coaches at another table). So we were pointing out to BagLady, who had no clue what a mullet was, that her boyfriend H, had a mullet -- I was describing a mullet that Thunderduck had seen where the guy had the "party" in the back and the front "business" was a bowl-cut, Moe-Stooge-style -- Thunderduck called it a "Bowl-let". Ok - so I digressed -- anyway the other mullet-sporting soul in the bar was this guy who in weeks past had a wind-blown type style (if you could call it style) that we always chalked up to inebriation/carelessness/apathy/bad genes. BUT - tonight he had gone all out (or at least made a minimal effort) and COMBED IT. And it was a mullet -- Lo and behold he came over to us and introduced himself and starts hitting on BagLady (we think -- he was really talking to all of us). Anyhoo --- he asks us all our names and BagLady and Felix told him their real names but I told him my name was Tammy! I was really in an SPQ mood. Well, drunkenly we start laughing and he catches on - smart little bugger - and says that's not your real name. So I said, "No, my real name is Lucy - or Lucille - but I hate it." Everyone kept a straight face - and he went for it. SO now I think that Lucille can be used as a verb. (As in, he was Lucilled - or BSd, as it were - by a Lucillle/SPQ) About that time MyPoolBoy saw what was happening and came and "rescued" us by sitting by BagLady in the booth so that mullet-boy would leave us alone.

I also used the word 'debaucherous' in our conversation last night and everyone came unglued. Sometimes my vocabulary just rears its ugly head in the strangest situations.

AND - we looked at the SPQ chapter on the 5 men you must have to see if our guys had more than one quality. We decided MyPoolBoy has 2 out of 5 -- dancing and sex because he can't/won't fix stuff, I definitely can't talk to him, and although he goes to the checkout to pay for stuff, we are basically broke and right now I am the major bread-winner --- he's a kept man!

After a bit we noticed our waitress was awol and we all needed another round. I started tapping dots and dashes out on the table with my empty Smirnoff Ice bottle - to everyone's glee that it wasn't THEM making a big noisy scene - and got AWOL's attention. I told her that it was my new code -- S's Outta Smirnoff -- SOS -- see, she'd been Lucilled also!

Alas, when we got home and I was putting on my pajama pants I got my foot hung in the crotch part of the pants because they are loose -- the left foot -- the sprained ankle -- and I fell -- not only did I re-hurt my ankle trying to catch myself as I fell, but I also skinned by knee because I basically tripped over my pj pants. What a klutz.

Anyway -- today is going to be a bit stressful - the boys have court and MyPoolBoy has a biology paper due. And I still need to clean house because my nephews are coming next week! Oh and I have to scan and upload some pictures for the track team to the website - so I'm gonna have to move the scanner into here and hook it up! I'll get on later and do my chapter review for SPQs Book of Love.

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