Waiting Waiting Waiting

Ok, first a SPQ report and then to the main story.
I am loving the idea of a "Pageant Party" - drink margaritas and shoot rubber darts at the tv when a pageant is on??? I'm there! Part of this stems from, as I told my step-sister when she was being a pain in the butt as we were preparing EVERYTHING for her to be the TIHA princess one year and she was doing nothing, "You need to straighten up and be thankful that your mom (my stepmom), and her friend and I are doing all this work for you. Your mom is stressed out to the max because you aren't doing crap that you are supposed to and now we have a deadline because you procrastinated -- I never got to be queen of JACK SHIT because no one cared enough about me to help me do it and here you have all these people working their butts off and you don't even appreciate it." Well, that made my stepmom cry even worse than she already was, but at least I got it out. In all honesty, I WAS the Halloween duchess in 1st grade (no tiara), and the Halloween queen in 7th grade (no tiara for that either, but someone in the family bought me one), and I was NOMINATED for Homecoming queen my senior year, but its just not the same unless there is a tiara, right? So the little Miss Whatevers piss me off enough to shoot darts at, just because they have someone that cared enough about them to pay for all their crap to get them to that point in the pageant. I suppose that's why I work so hard to take my boys to any sporting thing that they want or let them do acting or whatever activity they feel inclined toward. For guys, I guess that's the equivalent of a pageant.

And:
Our neighbor stopped MyPoolBoy this morning as we were loading the car and asked if we had ever heard his dog barking because his next-door neighbor (some cranky old guy) had called the cops about 4-5 times even though he had bought the dog a shock collar and took it to the vet to see if there was anything wrong. MyPoolBoy and I both told him that we hadn't noticed anything excessive - dogs bark, including ours and our next-door neighbors (on both sides) and our neighbors behind us and across the street!

Well, we went to the track meet and then took a nap, and around 6ish my friend Felix (ex-partner, since I'm going to be self-contained next year) and her husband/ManSlave called to see if we wanted to go out to eat with them at a new restaurant. So we go and we had the absolute worst waiter in the entire free world (WWW - Worst Waiter in the World). Honestly, all I can figure is that the guy wanted to get fired to collect unemployment or something! We got seated and he showed up a minute or so later with menus and took our drink order, but we all decided what we wanted to order (including me - which is saying A LOT) before WWW showed back up with our drinks. Then he took our order and disappeared! MyPoolBoy got up and went to the little sideboard/bar area to refill everyone's tea glass - cuz this guy was NOWHERE. Well, WWW came back by to check on us a little after that and MyPoolBoy informed him that they needed more tea, but the urns on the sideboard were empty so he'd better go refill them! So, we get more tea and WWW comes back with Felix's salad and says that they are really busy in the kitchen and he's sorry it took so long for the food (salad) - right then the other waitress comes out with the food so here's Felix with a salad that she hasn't even had a chance to pour dressing on, yet and the food arrives! Sheepishly WWW says, "Let me go get you some red sauce & tartar sauce for your fish." And disappears like David Freakin' Copperfield. Well, we start eating and are about halfway through when MyPoolBoy realizes that we don't have the sauce yet. So he excuses himself to go to the restroom and passes WWW talking to the cute little hostess on the way past the entrance and reminds him that we don't have any red sauce - probably not as nicely as I would have because MyPoolBoy can be pretty crass, but tonight I didn't care cuz this guy was awful. Just a little after MyPoolBoy got back from the restroom, WWW brings the sauce, but The Manager comes over right after him and starts offering us complimentary desserts and filling our tea glasses like the world would end if they got below a certain level. Ok, so we got WWW in trouble... it was pretty funny. A while later, WWW brings the check and MyPoolBoy pays it with cash. And dumbass WWW asks if he wants him to bring him change -- we all just looked at each other and MyPoolBoy politely told him yes -- but we all were thinking - Uh, yeah -- no way you're getting a 30 dollar tip, WWW! So we get our change and Felix's ManSlave and MyPoolBoy are settling their end of the check and we are finishing our tea and MyPoolBoy starts fumbling for tip money. He pulls out a bunch of ones and I said "hey, I've got a five or a ten in here if you want that" and MyPoolBoy says - "no, I'm looking to see if I have anything smaller than a one!"

Rip snorting hilarious, that one was!

Afterwards we came over here to drink a bottle of wine and fire up the chiminera. Lo and behold Neighbor Dog from this morning began to bark. After a while, Cranky Old Guy flips on his back porch light and blows an AIR HORN. Oh yeah, that'll shut him up.